I think a lot about that old song by Cher, if I COULD turn back time, what would I do?
I think of the week of September 2nd……..September 4th, 1970
I remember sitting down in the edge of the grass, with my feet out on the chert rock lined road at the old Trion cemetery. I think somewhere there’s a picture….I don’t know where. There are so, so very few from that week.
Looking back now forty nine years later, I don’t see anything different that could have been done. I believe things happen as they happen, and even if human technology were to develop a time machine so that a person could go back in time, one has to wonder if tampering with what has already come and gone would even be remotely a good idea.
If you change one heartbeat, if you save one heartbeat….would it be in exchange for another?
When you come back from your time travel, all of your photo albums would have different scenes….different people would be in them. Unfamiliar scenes, unknown things!
Familiar and deep love might be gone… and be replaced by a different version of love.
So even with the sorrow which runs through this coming week every year now…
knowing what I know, and having what I have, I could not and would not go back and take a chance on rearranging history.
Things happen as they happen and there is a reason for everything. Randomness, or planned to the infinitesimal, it doesn’t make any difference, it’s in the books. It is in changeable.
Somewhere, out there in the Universe, or here in the Universe I believe her spirit waits for me. That’s enough to know, and to hold onto. At least on most days.