Author: thegraymaniac

Sometimes back in the 80’s as we were traveling across America on some of our trips out to Boise Idaho to visit Paula’s folks, we’d come to stretches of road that beckoned miles out ahead. The road was straight, but the eyes could not see far enough to discern what lay at the end of that long stretch. It shimmered mysteriously and unknown miles into the future.

Age seemed the same way back in those days too. We were in our thirties then, and the mid to late sixties was beyond my kin to see. My comprehension of what lay ahead was just a guess, and a poor one at that.

Now, closing in on my 68th birthday in October, I understand how a person can misplace their glasses for days at a time, and lose their balance on a two step ladder. The body’s senses lie to the brain, and tell it that everything is still the same as it’s always been, but…..

Sorry, I can’t remember where I was going with this post…maybe later?

I got to thinking about the old saying that “life is just mind over matter….if you don’t mind it don’t matter!” Now I now that’s supposed to be funny, but really it’s kind of true. If you don’t mind what people say about you, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind you don’t have as many possessions as others around you, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind that someone cuts you off in traffic, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind you’ve gained a little weight, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind there’s a little dust on the furniture, it don’t matter.

The things that DO matter are our peace of mind, and happiness, and our relationship to the people and the world around us.

It matters how we treat our family and our friends. It matters if we help someone who asks for it, but also it matters when we help someone who needs it and DOES NOT ask for it…cause some people who need help are too proud to ask and some are so far gone, they cannot ask.

It matters if we care about humanity….not just American humanity but ALL of humanity.

So today don’t mind about the loudmouth in the aisle ahead of you at Walmart talking on their cell phone about things best kept private, it don’t matter. Don’t mind about what the talking heads on TV are telling you, in the long run it won’t matter. Don’t mind if so and so don’t agree with your politics, or pulls an online rant on you, in a month or a year, or in 100 years it…won’t…matter. Period.

Do mind about telling someone you love them…that does matter. Do mind if you help somebody who is sick, or feed someone who is hungry, that does matter. Do mind about hugging your kids, and your old people. Do mind about dealing with those around you with kindness. Those are the tenets of living which will live on far beyond us all. That is the morality upon which an unbreakable civilization will one day be founded, and out of which a new paradigm of life will emerge.

If you’re a Christian, read the gospel and do what Jesus says. If you’re an atheist treat others with integrity, compassion, and understanding. If you are of any religion, stand for the good which all religions include…don’t make up you’re own rules. Don’t surround yourself with hatred. Don’t think that revenge will end with the last person who acts with revenge in mind. It won’t. An eye for and eye only ends up making everyone blind.

Perhaps I am naive to think these things. To think that we will be able to solve our own human problems by our own human selves. But I do

I really do.

Take everything you know or think you know, and do a “role reversal” in your mind.

Now, think about it for a while…….is it possible that we (as human beings) are wrong about some things? Is it possible we are wrong about some people, or groups of people?

Is it possible…could it possibly be possible, that we are just not thinking?

One thing that I make sure and do on a daily basis is to say out loud: “I will not let hate and fear rule me!” I know that if anyone actually saw me, they might think that’s pretty weird. But, my opinion is that “vocalizing” our thoughts makes them more of a reality then just thinking them in our heads. I also really believe that part of our problem in this society is that we do not vocalize our thoughts and opinions enough to other, actual in the flesh people. We have a habit of expressing our thoughts and opinions here in cyberspace, and it’s just…not…the…same, as having a conversation in person.

For most people, excepted for the dedicated and practiced “entertainers” in our world who are adept at acting out and inciting others…for most people though, besides those entertainers…it’s harder to express hatred and fear to somebody’s face, than it is to write it out on this digital page.

Most of us are not of the mindset yet, to act out hatred and loathing by performing actual deeds of violence in person against other people…although, the instances of those who are doing so is becoming a more common occurrence. People who are on the fence….on the cusp of doing violent acts against other people, are often pushed beyond the edge of inaction to the tragedy of real action, by things they read, hear or come in contact with via the virtual world.

I hope that it doesn’t get worse. I fervently wish that we can all start to again become more communicative with each other in person, face to face. I want for there to be a world for my children and grandchildren to inhabit, in which they have a chance to live and enjoy themselves the way I have….the way we have.

If we think, like I said at the first of this post….if we think about just not ourselves, but of those who come after us in this world, maybe we can solve some of the severe problems which we are now encountering. Listen to your heart, your own heart…not the rhetoric of anyone who wants to sway you away from what you know in your heart is right.

We are all simply layer after layer upon layer of emotional content, which is spilled out upon the canvas of life…day after day after day.

Some layers go down smoothly, with nary a wrinkle..and you may have quite a few good ones in a row, before a messed up, old crumpled layer comes around and rumples up your pile!

Then it takes a lot of smoothing over before that layer is buried way down deep. A wind may come along every now and then an turn up your edges, and you recall that bad day.

Some of our journeys go better than others. Depends upon a lot of things. Some have a lot more wrinkled up layers than others.

I really don’t know why things are the way they are, all I know is that it’s quite a ride….it’s quite a process this “living life”.

I look forward to another layer of life tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll see some of you, and we can work on this big old jig saw puzzle together. I hope so.

From 2012- I still feel this way. I’m glad that in late 2014 I decided to start exercising and walking. It’s helped my physical well being a lot:

The forecast is for beautiful days over the next week. Many of us are going to be able to get out and work in the yard, take a walk, enjoy a cup of coffee on the patio or the porch and watch the gorgeous sunrises and sunsets.

We have so much. I am trying my very best to concentrate on all these good things which I have been given and not dwell on the things which are not so good.

I want more than anything to spend more time with my family. I realized yesterday while watching two of my granddaughters at a Band concert that it was just a blink of an eye ago when they were babies…toddlers, preschool. Now, one is going into High School next year.

I cannot do the things I used to do. I tried to work a little in the yard yesterday and almost made myself sick. Physical work is out of my ability to perform as I want to, because of my limitations.

But perhaps my heart was changed beyond what they did to repair it, while I laid there without a heart beat for 40 minutes. I think it changed my needs. I can let the grass grow long, and the bushes go untrimmed and the digging left undug in exchange for being able to love my family.

Our creator’s gift which came along with my infirmity was time…that most precious thing, and the ability to use it to love, that most divine thing. I am thankful. Never let anything that I say convince you otherwise.

In all of human history there has been no time like now. The only thing which sometimes bothers me is the tiny shiver which runs up my spine thinking about where “now” is.

We live in a world where smart humans have subjected the other 98% of we less technical and scientific “normal” humans to such dangers as nuclear weapons, nuclear power plants, overuse of chemical agents for war, agriculture and insecticides, massive military forces, industrial pollution, poison industrial byproducts, germ warfare, and political strife over land ownership by countries and individuals.

As on of my friends stated just yesterday, homo sapiens may be the very first species to precipitate its own extinction. It’s a sobering and distressing thought. There has never been a time like now.

A time of practically instant communication. A time of world travel which is so quick, that there is no longer a real sovereignty of nations. A time when human knowledge has outpaced our capabilities and the morality of the human psyche to be able to exercise constraint in our dealings with one another, so we therefore treat each other badly.

We are at a crossroads where the spiritual part of humanity’s brain must be nurtured and nursed into a state where a deeper and more compassionate conscious develops. We have to somehow develop a system of learning which fosters the responsibility for our existence faster than our capacity for self destruction. How do we do this?

We turn the keys of power over to the new generation of young leaders who are rapidly developing not only in America, but all over the world. Our children and grandchildren who are anxious to overcome the problems this generation has created, and to create a more harmonious world. They are out there, and we must step out of their way, and demand this generations crop of old and dishonest leaders move out and give the new crop time to grow. It won’t be easy, but I believe it’s our best chance.

Otherwise turn out the lights, the parties over.

My advice to people…speaking from experience is too not accumulate too much “stuff” At least not stuff of the physical kind. There’s a difference between the physical stuff and the spiritual stuff. Over the past almost 43 years I have accumulated WAY too much physical “stuff” I hate to throw anything away. I have things which will NEVER be used again, but…I start to throw them on the “give away” truck and I say “well, I MIGHT need this again someday” and back it goes into the pile. I have been battling this demon a lot lately and I think I have won. I have gotten disgusted with all the physical stuff we accumulate in this world. I have gotten rid of several truckloads last week, and will continue to haul it off until there is not much left except what I really need. I don’t think you can accumulate too much spiritual “stuff” though. At least not the good kind. There’s a possibility you CAN accumulate to much of the bad kind: hate, envy, spite, vulgarity….such as that. You can never accumulate too much of the other kind: love, caring, compassion, giving. Their is a space in our heart for these kinds of things which can NEVER be totally filled. There is always room for more. The more you drive out the negative spiritual feelings the more room for the good feelings. Keep that in mind today when one of the “baddies” jumps into your head. Oh and by the way…..could I interest anybody in a load of junk??

We need to all remember during this election year that nothing, and I MEAN nothing you are going to hear on TV (99.9%) will be totally true. Some of it will be WAY untrue…some of it will be a little untrue. No matter which side it comes from, extremists are the ones now controlling what we see and hear about what’s going on. Running the gambit from MSNBC to Fox. We must remember that out of all we hear, the truth…the real truth lies somewhere in between, somewhere in the middle. Neither candidate will be as good or as terrible as they are depicted. This is American politics in the 21st century and we should get used to it. We should also try and hold back our most “passionate” comments….things we may regret saying later, and simply remember that 90% or more of the people in this country already have their minds made up about the election and the negativity that occurs between now and November is a dogfight for the other 10%. (my statistical “guessing” I haven’t seen any polls…nor would I believe them anyway) We can discuss and debate, but let’s don’t cuss and hate.

The creator gave me some wonderful souls with whom to be associated. My wife, our children and grandchildren. Those who have passed on, who I have loved and missed so dearly. They have been and continue to be my anchor.

I have an obligation to fulfill to each person I meet, in the name of honesty as well as I can discern it. People deserve honesty, fairness, and caring. I revel in showing little tots how to hit a ball off of a tee. I am awed by the speed with which new babies learn so quickly as they transition into toddlers. I am surprised at how most people react when you simply smile and say hello.

This is a crucial and critical time in our country. It’s a time when families of all kinds must learn to understand themselves, and then learn to bond with other families. Some say the church is one place to do this, and perhaps it is, but I think we should come together at the level where ALL families can be involved. If the church cannot accept all types of families then it is not the ideal place for families to learn to bond. I see SO many good families both in person and online that I know if we worked together there is nothing we could not accomplish. We only lack a leader with the strength and fortitude to pull us together and not apart.

Most of all we, me must practice our kindness. I am afraid for the most part it is a learned trait. Start small and grow larger. Kindness often costs nothing but careful thinking.

We can bring this world back from the brink of disaster if enough of us want to. Our worst enemy is apathy and our worst trait is hesitancy to get involved in trying to make a difference. We humans are better than this, we just need to get our heads out of the sand and into the fight.

May is almost here, and on the 10 day weather forecast I see 80’s starting to show up. Hot weather. Where I’m not much of a fan of it now, I certainly once was.

May meant school was almost over, and a three month vacation was just around the corner.

The fishing rods and cane poles could be dusted off, and new nylon fishing line would replace the previous summers scum encrusted old stringy line. We’d cut the old rusty hooks that had been holding the line to the top of the rod off, and tie on a shiny new barbed hook and lead sinkers, or a snap leader, so we could use a shyster or a plastic black worm to entice a bass.

The Chattooga river was barely a rock throw away, and I could hear that water pouring over the dam, and feel the spray hitting me as I stood on one of those limestone rocks, casting out towards the middle…looking for a sweet spot. I can still smell it even now.

We’d get our baseball gloves out of the closet and rub a tiny bit of Vaseline into the dry leather, and then just put the glove up to our nose, and smell the scent of baseball. Visions of games with new clean uniforms, and wooden bats contacting those brand new white baseballs, perhaps even shattering the bat if you hit it too high up on the handle, well…those visions danced in the heads of us Trion boys more so than any candy cane at Christmas time ever did.

I can see Jess Emory chewing on a cigar, and hear J.W. Greenwood or Cherry Crisp calling: “strike three, you’re out” more often than I wanted to!

I took a Brillo pad and shined up my golf irons. I took a Phillips head screw driver and made sure the metal plates on all my woods were tight. Me and Dad, and Tommy and Mike Brown would go golf ball hunting to stock up for the summer. We boys would spend hours a week playing and practicing so we could be as good as Darrell Broome, or Faye Brown. We’d caddie during the times we couldn’t play for Otis Tanner, or Mr. Florence. We would get real good tips during the Trion/Ware Shoals match. I’d always try and get Donnie Davis or Mr. Munns from Ware Shoals. They paid good.

It’s funny the things you remember when the weather starts to turn. I’m glad I grew up where I did, when I did. I could write more, but the sandman calls.