What I need most is sleep, but most nights it eludes me. If I get five uninterrupted hours of sleep in a night, I count myself lucky! Sleep dodges my grasp. I can more easily catch a grasshopper in an open field than to catch 40 good winks.
I cannot “turn my brain off” as my Momma used to say. The neurons fire and fire and fire. And worry creeps in and makes the situation harder. “Should I have done this..” “Should I have said this…” “Is so and so mad, are their feelings hurt?”
Aw dammit. Those are the kind of things my Grandmother and Mom would both say…and neither of them slept good either. I don’t remember my Granny ever sleeping over four hours in a night. She was up at the crack of dawn every day.
My Doctor asked me today, “Do you want something to help you to sleep?”
I said nosiree.
I take enough pills now to keep the pharmaceutical companies in the black.
I’ll just get what I get, and keep on thinking and thinking.
And nod off during the day if I get still for more than a minute or two.
I fear I may just be like Edgar Allen Poe: “Sleep, the little death…how I loathe it” he said
He must not have been able to turn his brain off either.