Losing someone you love

“Time heals all wounds”. That’s how the old saying goes, but it’s not really true especially when it concerns losing someone you love.

Time simply allows a scab to grow over whatever wound has been dealt to us. It’s a permanent scab, which never heals. Some are thicker than others, but it only takes the right thing to rip off even the hardest of protections. Then the wound is as fresh ever. A picture, a song, a sunny day, something someone says, seeing a certain person, being at a certain place, even just opening your eyes to a new day. Triggers that open up old wounds are all around us.

Sometimes, even time does not partially heal. That’s the other non truth about that old saying. Depending on the person, and on the wound….it may never scab over. When that occurs, there is a constant feeling which can vary from a nagging annoyance, to an agonizing, searing, nerve wracking hurt. How you feel just depends on how well you distract yourself from the pain that day.

Nothing in this life is simple, nor do all generalities apply to all people. Sometimes even the toughest of humans need to seek professional counseling and help.

Being well meaning and concerned about other people, especially when it comes to the grieving process can be a double edged sword. A little support helps, but too much may hurt. When unsure, the best policy is “first do no harm”. Back off and stay quiet, and give others the space to try and develop their scab on their own.

That’s all it will ever be though. Just a scab over a wound in the heart, which will never fully heal. It’s always there, believe me I know.

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