Writing for Sanity's Sake

“To Sleep, Perchance to Dream, Ahh…there’s the rub” Shakespeare..

Wonder what Hamlet was really thinking about when he uttered that line. Fear of the long sleep of death? Was he maybe just an insomniac…? Too bad for him there wasn’t Ambien back then, he may have been able to live a normal life!

Then there’s the line that “Hal-9000” asked Dave right before he “died” “Dave, will I dream?”

Dreams are weird things, and I have been having some really wild ones of late. I don’t know why… Mostly, I dream about work and how it used to be in those days. Mind you, it’s not enough that I used to spend 12 hours a day at work on most days. Then I came home, did some work on the computer, and read my emails, watched a little news, and tried to go to sleep. But the ignominy of having to still dream about working, after three years, just really peeves me. I think I have dream’t of every belligerent boss I ever have had over my working career in the last few weeks, and believe me that covers a LOT of ground. But then…there was last night’s dream.

I was in our old house on 8th Street (been moved from there for nae on to 27 years!) and watching apprehensively out the door and big black steam train was coming by. You could feel the house shake since it was only about 60 feet from the railroad tracks. The smoke and soot belched out of the top of the engine and the noise was like a jet plane. I was scared and sweating, I was terrified that the train was coming for me. Finally it got next to the house and I could see the engineer sitting there in the front in his gray hood, and his sickle next to him. He looked me straight in the eye and smiled…. and then the train passed on by. On the back of the caboose when it passed there was a banner that said, “It’s not over, til I say it’s over” The train boogied on by so quickly it was amazing.

I went back inside, and the house was pitch dark and there were cobwebs in the corners and on the ceiling. There was no sign of life, no furniture not a thing moving (not even a mouse!) There were memories…and a bright light off in the distance.. Then….the dog licked my ear and I woke up.

I get the feeling that this dream is kind of like my life. I am a reminiscer. Someone who feels more comfortable thinking about the way things were than about the way they are. I guess sometimes I figure my life is mostly like the train…chugging relentlessly and quickly on down the track. I’m a passenger but I’m not in complete control. I worry that the ride will very soon be over,… But hey….the banner on the back is encouraging!

So, I will keep on writing about the things I like and remember so well from the past, and try and keep it nostalgic, and leave out the politics and problems that we are bombarded with from every side on a daily basis. I’ll leave that to people who are smarter and younger, and more dedicated than me. And I WILL remember: “It ain’t over ’til HE says it’s over!”

Now, in an hour or two it will be time to go get a little shut eye. I think it will be peaceful tonight. “To sleep, perchance to dream…that’s the rub now…isn’t it!” Thanks Will!

Is there any such thing as real justice?

I guess it depends upon your beliefs.  After all, justice is a human term.  Good and evil are human inventions.

Or are they?

It depends upon your beliefs.

I think the worst injustice which ever happened to me personally, was to be taught to treat people differently simply because of their color, or their sexuality, or their actions. It was injustice to have it inferred that women were inferior to men.  All these things were not laid out in a book of instructions, but shown to me by the word and some of the actions of parents, grandparents, kin, religious leaders, peers and others.

Not everything laid out strictly and openly, but some things very subtle and demurred.

Again, that’s another “human” acquired trait.  To hate.  To learn to hate.  I’m not sure how long it took that one to develop during the course of our evolution.  Of course, there are many who don’t believe in evolution.  A lot of people believe that we humans were created from the dirt of the earth, and had a soul inserted into us by a divine creator.  Many people believe we humans were created in the very image of God himself.  Himself.  Not herself, or itself.

I personally believe that we are created, but I see no reason that science and the belief in a creation have to be a separate thing.  I think that however we were created, it was by design and it could have been done through science and evolution.  It didn’t have to be done by “magic” either white or black.  It didn’t have to be done by anything which we humans understand even a little bit.  I don’t think we have too much of a clue about the “actualities” of things.

So, I wonder “in the beginning” as human beings were developing, was there good and evil.  At some point we had to come up with a  definition for both of these, because without it, there could be no sense of justice or injustice.  First comes good and evil, then comes the need for justice.  I understand that it didn’t have to happen all at once.  The Cro-Magnon men and women didn’t have a meeting one day back in the caves of France and decide in a conference what things constituted human good and what constituted human evil.  It probably just developed over time through “outcomes”  A human would do something within the tribe or community in which he lived, and others didn’t approve of the thing that was done.  Somebody took somebody else’s food without permission.  That probably was not considered a good attribute pretty quickly.

Things of a sexual nature probably came much later than the food stealing thing.  After all, I don’t think humans realized that sex caused babies for a long time.  I’m not sure how soon taboos were put into place concerning male and female gender associative relationships.  Some of them were in place during early historical times.  In Egypt, in Babylon, in the early Maya and Inca civilizations.

Without true justice in the Universe, then what good are we human beings?  What good is our culture and society if there is not a true justice, not particularly in this life, but in the afterlife.  After we are dead and leave this world, if there is no justice for things we did or didn’t do on Earth, then what are we doing here?  What good is life.

We know there have been many, many evil people down through history who have gotten away with all the dastardly and heinous thing they have done on Earth and have died without having to submit to any form of human justice.  Will there be no punishment for them for their sins?  At the same time, there have certainly been many people who were innocent of terrible things of which they have been accused, and who suffered awful punishments and death, unjustly.  Will there be no atonement for them after they die?

These questions sometimes cause me to question life itself.  They cause me to ask myself, is there true justice or is it just a pipedream.

One day perhaps I’ll figure it out….or find out.

 

 

 

I now have the cleanest squirrel in the State of Georgia living in the tree in my front yard. The bold little feller is a permanent resident of the Ivy encased Elm tree that stands on the West side of the house providing much needed evening shade. I water my plants regularly and refresh the water in the birdbaths every day or so, and I use a hose pipe with a “sweeper” nozzle so I can get out to the farthest reaches of my postage stamp size yard. I was over next to the fence, just fixing to quit when the “dirty” little squirrel climbed down off his limb onto the top of one of my birdhouses. Seeing that he needed a bath, I screwed the nozzle to “high” which produces the strongest stream of water possible. Pointed the hose in his direction and let go of the crimp in the hose pipe I had been holding. Now..I’ve seen squirrels make some amazing moves…they are quite acrobatic creatures, but when that stream of water hit that little bushy tailed rodent he did a double back flip with three and a half turns straight UP onto the limb above his head. It took him two more seconds to get back up to his home base…where he sat chattering and shaking like a wet dog. Well..now he’s clean and I ain’t seen him trying to rob the poor finches today…..

Ok…all you folks who work at fast food restaurants at the windows….the phrase is: “Sorry you had to wait” NOT “Sorry ABOUT your wait…(weight??) The first time someone said this to me…I thought they musta’ noticed my big belly going through Wendy’s to get ANOTHER large Frosty. Well….after losing some of the belly I belatedly realized they were trying to apologize for their untimeliness in getting me my “fast” food, after only a 15 minute weight. I really got the message one day when a little lady brought my bag of Chicken out to the truck and says: “Sorry about your weight…” and I said in return: “Well..I’m sorry that you’re short!” After she glared at me and stomped off I figured I would quit trying to get the point across in a “comedic” way. In any case…if you’ve had this phrase used on you, well just tell the person…”hey, I ain’t THAT heavy..”

The song I have always loved above all others is “Somewhere over the Rainbow”.

I remember the first time I ever heard it. That was in 1956 on CBS. Judy Garland sang that song, and I knew I would never forget it. It’s one of the few thrilling things I remember from that year.

I do remember pulling one of those extra large ’56 Mantle cards from a bubble gum pack. Wish I still had it.

My favorite line from over the Rainbow: “Somewhere over the rainbow, skies are blue….and the dreams that we dare to dream really do come true”.

….dare to dream
…dreams come true.

I’m a weird old man. A lot of friends and relatives don’t mind letting me know that fact.

But…I love that song, and its message off hope in a seemingly hope starved world.

Went to Trade Day again today. Been going there pretty regularly since they first started it, back down at the “Triangle Shopping Center” in Trion. It was a REAL Trade Day back then…with people actually “trading” for things…mostly knives, and even guns back in those days, guess it was the late 70’s. The owner there didn’t much care for it, so it moved to it’s current location down between Trion and Summerville. All these years since, I have been looking for the “Holy Grail” of Trade Day…otherwise know as “the great find” “the treasure” i.e. the one thing that will worth SO much money that I will be able to sell it at Christie’s or Sotheby’s for a cool million and live in the life of luxury from there on out. Only problem is, I have never found it… Oh, I have found some pretty good “STUFF” over the years. I’ve brought a lot of that “stuff” or “high class junk” home. My wife is pretty good about it. She let’s me bring it in the house and hardly says a word about it. Kinda’ Saintly really, considering some of the weird things I have thought were “treasures” over the years. I won’t go into detail about that right now…only to say that I owe her a lot of thanks for her patience. Being the wife of a “junker” is not an easy thing. I have found everything from oil paintings to deer antlers, I have found Japanese pottery, and Chinese statues. Pocket knives and Buddha’s. Baseball cards aplenty!! Old marbles, toys, books, clothes, cameras, military items, rings, and earrings, stamps, postcards, old letters, arrowheads, rocks …you name it, and I have bought it. I’ve found things that I thought were worth thousands…and it turned out they were worthless. I have got somethings for a quarter or fifty cents and sold them for more. But that elusive treasure, that Holy Grail, it’s still out there. One thing I have found though is a lot of friends. I have met people who would give you the shirt off of their back if you needed it. I have met people at Trade day who I count as some of my closest friends. People you can trust. I know some of these people, who would go five miles out of their way to pay you the dollar they owed your from last week. People who let you sit on the back of their truck and look through hundreds of dollars worth of stuff while they go about their business, or go to the bathroom or get a snack,..because they trust YOU. People like me…who are chasing that “Holy Grail” Some days, like today…it gets tiring to hunt it. I have plowed through more boxes of junk than most people will ever see, hunched over..prodding through the bottom, looking for that 22 karat gold necklace that weights a pound, or that undiscovered Picasso, or Van Gogh. Back hurting…sweat dripping..or freezing to death….I am there looking for it. One day it’s going to be there, and I won’t EVER have to go back to Trade Day again. One day… Anway, on Saturday if it’s not raining it’s back to the chase…

A story I was listening to on NPR today really caught my attention. It was about a blind man named Daniel Kish who lost both of his eyes to cancer as a young child. One would expect…yes a person’s expectation would be that this child would lead a sheltered and protected life. A life where his parents would protect him and seek to keep him from being harmed due to his “disability” But, Daniel Kish himself had differenct expectations for his life. He expected to be able to do things that normal sighted people could do.

He developed a system of his own, using vocal clicks as he moved about, in order to locate things around him. As he grew he became more adept at finding his way using this unique sonar system. He came to be able to do things that any normal sighted person could do. He rides a bycycle anywhere he wants to go. He can identifiy items exactly, using his sonar system. The main part of his philosopy is that he is not bound by other people’s expectations of what he, a blind man, should be. He essentially became a real “Batman”.

Therein lies the idea which made me think and reconsider expectations.

Our first set of the expectations are from our parents. We are guided into the precepts of their own expectations for us. Kids are expected to play sports, or to be involved in some way. We must keep our kids busy doing the things we expect a child of their age, in their environment, to do. If a child asks to do something out of the ordinary, we sometimes tell them they “can’t do” that. “Momma I want to be an artist”. You can’t do that…your too little. “Daddy, I want to be a writer”. Son, you know we’re already doing football. “Mom and Dad, I want to be the person who cures cancer”. “Mom and Dad, I want to discover how to exceed the speed of light”. Say what?

Then there are the limitations we put on ourselves about our abilities. “I want to be a writer…publish a book”. What you talking about boy…your 65 years old…an old man!”

“I want to start a new chapter in my life, I want to live to 100 years old, I want to discover new possibilities for my life that I never thought possible!” Everything is possible if we believe we can exceed our expectations. Contrary to a popular myth which says we only us 10% of our brains, we humans use practically every part of our brain. What we do not do is expect success which exceeds our wildest expectations.

We should never sell ourselves short. We certainly should not put limitations on the expectations of our family.

We should not only expect them, and ourselves to be Batman, we should expect Superman.

Sometimes I know when I am seriously in thought I probably don’t look too friendly. I may appear to be scowling, but I’m not…believe me. My mind wanders like a greased pig on slick ice. I’m all over the place. I can’t seem to concentrate on over one thing at a time anymore. I might say “uh-huh” and didn’t understand a word you said. Part of it might be my hearing. I was “borderline” on the last hearing test I took before I left work. Probably the results of a LOT of noisy factories, and some loud Garth Brooks concerts. (That one in B’ham got me…I couldn’t hear normally for three weeks!) OR it could just be selective hearing. Nevertheless, please don’t think me rude..I can’t seem to help it.

I’m praying for a lot of friends tonight. There’s a lot who need it. I hope some pray for me too. Regardless of the fact that I quit going to Church regular, I ain’t lost my religion, my humanity, or my philosophy of life which is live and let live, give when you can, what you can and care about all life big and small.

Perhaps I am getting old because I appear to ramble. Anyway, if I walk by you with my head down and a blank look on my face just holler “hey” and that will get my attention and we will talk. I like you…believe me I really do….I wouldn’t have it any other way.

I don’t get to take my wife out near as often as she deserves, but we did get take in lunch and a movie this past week. It was “Guardians of the Galaxy” a very fun flic.

I always notice how comfortable and secure I feel in a theatre. Guess almost all of us my age and a little older get that warmth. For me, it all stems from being “movie goer” since….well I can’t remember how long ago. I still remember walking from our house on Simmons street in 1959 to watch the cowboy movies at the old Trion Cinema. What a wonderful place that was.

Mom and Dad never thought a thing about letting a 9 year old boy walk by himself to the “show” back then. Something parents are more careful about nowadays.

So when I would sink down in those old deep cushioned chairs back then it was a wonderful feeling.

That’s never ever gone away, not in all those 54 years since. Even now, just as soon as the movie starts, I’m magically transported away from the reality of who I am and what’s bothering me, to whatever world is on that huge screen. From Roy Rogers, to Clark Gable and Vivian Leigh in GWTW. From “2001” to “Star Wars” and “LOTR” Saw a lot of movies I loved, some I hated, and some I was just downright indifferent to…

I know a lot of people wait for movies to be released to the “home screen” but it’s just not the same. I’m not so sure about this 3D thing though. If I had wanted to be IN the movie I woulda auditioned! I guess it’s kinda fun though.

We are living in the golden age of mankind right now. Despite what you hear, despite what some would like you to think, humans are better off in all aspects of life now than at any point in history.

The only other era which could even come close was the most austere days of the Roman Republic…even over the so called “Pax Romana” because even during that time Rome was ruled by a dictator.

If humanity were not living in our greatest age ever, there would certainly be fewer of us! Our health is better. A smaller percentage of us die from war and famine. We are better educated. Our food and homes are better. Etcetera. Oh, there are still many who require help…but the many could assist the few if they had a mind to do it, coupled with a compassionate, giving spirit.

We are all in the midst of an instant communication age with no constraints to prevent even the most blatant of lies from being told…and believed by many.

Certain people and groups want us all to live in fear. Fear of the unknown. Fear of those who are different. Fear of pain or death. Death will come to us all, but in it’s own time. We cannot let the fear of it paralyze us.

Refuse to listen to the fear-mongers and hate sowers. Live with at least a little optimism that there will be a tomorrow for us, and for our children and grandchildren.

Let us not become self fulfilling prophecy “pawns” for the chess-masters of chaos who bombard us with their doomsday BS day in and day out. Reject them. It’s in your power to do so.