Day: August 25, 2020

I have run around this little old town pretty much all of my life. I was born two blocks from where I am sitting typing this. I went to grammar and high school four blocks away, right next to the river that I take photos of all the time. I used to look out of the study hall windows and I could see that same railroad trestle that you’re always seeing pop up on my page.

I lived in three different houses while I was growing up here. One of them is one block behind me. The other two were up in “hot town” about a ½ mile away from here. I was married 45 years and a couple of months ago in the Church right behind my house…about 200 steps from where I am sitting. My wife and I raised our three children here…living in two different houses along these narrow streets. There has been a sense of continuity to it all.

I’m sad sometimes that things have changed so much….but change is inevitable. It’s like breathing in and out….like life and death. What does not change does not survive, and therefore change is necessary. I am happy that I have been here, and been here in this time and place. I’m grateful that I have survived the situations in which I have been, and the storms which have blown in and out of my life.

So, here I will be and perhaps will be from now on. You will see more photos of the landscape…probably more than you want to see. Of course there will be some more traveling, some more vacations and there will be time away from here. A cruise or two for sure. Disney World again…Paula likes that place and I kind of do too.

There are just too many ties here to completely break away at this point in life…family, kids, and grandchildren, and the memories…oh yes, there is that. Once upon a time back in the “old days” I dreamed for the day I could get out of this “one horse town” I wanted New York City or Nashville. A lot of my classmates and “city mates” have made it out of here. For some reason I didn’t. I guess maybe it was because I just wanted to stick around and see how things turned out.

“To Sleep, Perchance to Dream, Ahh…there’s the rub” Shakespeare..

Wonder what Hamlet was really thinking about when he uttered that line. Fear of the long sleep of death? Was he maybe just an insomniac…? Too bad for him there wasn’t Ambien back then, he may have been able to live a normal life!
Then there’s the line that “Hal-9000” asked Dave right before he “died” “Dave, will I dream?”

Dreams are weird things, and I have been having some really wild ones of late. I don’t know why… Mostly, I dream about work and how it used to be in those days. Mind you, it’s not enough that I used to spend 12 hours a day at work on most days. Then I came home, did some work on the computer, and read my emails, watched a little news, and tried to go to sleep. But the ignominy of having to still dream about working, after three years, just really peeves me. I think I have dream’t of every belligerent boss I ever have had over my working career in the last few weeks, and believe me that covers a LOT of ground. But then…there was last night’s dream.

I was in our old house on 8th Street (been moved from there for nae on to 27 years!) and watching apprehensively out the door and big black steam train was coming by. You could feel the house shake since it was only about 60 feet from the railroad tracks. The smoke and soot belched out of the top of the engine and the noise was like a jet plane. I was scared and sweating, I was terrified that the train was coming for me. Finally it got next to the house and I could see the engineer sitting there in the front in his gray hood, and his sickle next to him. He looked me straight in the eye and smiled…. and then the train passed on by. On the back of the caboose when it passed there was a banner that said, “It’s not over, til I say it’s over” The train boogied on by so quickly it was amazing.
I went back inside, and the house was pitch dark and there were cobwebs in the corners and on the ceiling. There was no sign of life, no furniture not a thing moving (not even a mouse!) There were memories…and a bright light off in the distance.. Then….the dog licked my ear and I woke up.

I get the feeling that this dream is kind of like my life. I am a reminiscer. Someone who feels more comfortable thinking about the way things were than about the way they are. I guess sometimes I figure my life is mostly like the train…chugging relentlessly and quickly on down the track. I’m a passenger but I’m not in complete control. I worry that the ride will very soon be over,… But hey….the banner on the back is encouraging!

So, I will keep on writing about the things I like and remember so well from the past, and try and keep it nostalgic, and leave out the politics and problems that we are bombarded with from every side on a daily basis. I’ll leave that to people who are smarter and younger, and more dedicated than me. And I WILL remember: “It ain’t over ’til HE says it’s over!”

Now, in an hour or two it will be time to go get a little shut eye. I think it will be peaceful tonight. “To sleep, perchance to dream…that’s the rub now…isn’t it!” Thanks Will!