Some days I wish I was like the Tin Man from the “Wizard of Oz” In the first place I would LOVE to have that oil can and be able apply some of that magical oil to a few of my joints, especially my knees! It would be great to have a new heart too.
The one I have is a little battered and beaten. Really though I don’t feel any different than I did when I was 18. Mostly because I cannot remember HOW I felt when I was 18, or 21, or 35…and so on. You get the idea.
If not the Tin Man, then my next choice would be the Cowardly Lion. Nowadays I feel a lot of times the courage I used to think I had, has abandoned me. I’m fearful of a lot of things to which I used to not give much thought. Lack of days, loss of health, or apprehension for my love ones, or perhaps it is just the way which life progresses. I used to think a lot of times about doing things “I wanted to do” …and I would always think “well I’ve got a lot of time left” What an idiot I was…am….Perhaps it’s because my brain just isn’t what it use to be?
In that case, maybe the Scarecrow?? I can certainly tell you that this getting old ain’t like being in Kansas anymore. I’ve been there once and it just isn’t the same.
An old man came up to me the other day while I was walking and asked: “Where can I find sanctuary?”
“What kind of sanctuary?” I answer back.
“You know, the place where everyone is safe from everything.” he said
I held my breath and thought, and then thought again. I turned around without saying a word and walked to my car and got in and cranked it. I locked the doors and the windows and drove out onto the highway and got it up to about 65 mph.
“This is about it for now…” I thought
But as far as the future, I don’t know….I really don’t know.
In all things there is change. Some for the good, some not. We humans change so many times during our lives. I only now realize how my grandparents…my parents, felt as they were getting older. It’s a definite change.
We start our lives in a full tub of “life”. We are in the very back corner of that full tub….that tub which is a different level for each of us. As soon as we are born, the plug is pulled and our life starts to drain. The closer we get to the “drain” the faster our life moves. The journey will…change…you.
I saw some of the ways it changed my loved ones as they raced towards the spiral at the end. I’m determined I will not change in some of those ways….and yet, much of what happens is out of my control.
So I suppose I will control what I can, and live with what I cannot control. What more can we do?
What more can we ask except for the chance to try and fulfill our best in life? It’s a true gift to be given the chance to even try. It’s a true gift to not be alone….to have people to love, and who love you back.