I wrote this a few years back….and this years going to be the year it really happens.
It’s going to be an Old Fashioned Christmas this year….everyone is getting a paper bag filled with penny candies, oranges, apples, peppermint candy and nuts…..I used to enjoy these when I was a kid, but I suppose that was a “lifetime” ago.
I remember sitting at the foot of a Christmas tree which was just a spruce that my Grandparents had cut down, and opening a few presents…but I still loved that ol’ “brown bag” of goodies that the “Old Zion” Baptist Church used to give all the kids. Christmas seems to be so much more complicated nowadays, what with “Black Friday” and all the emphasis on shopping and gifting.
I always enjoy the “kick off” being the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade and watching “Miracle on 34th St.” NOT, Halloween and “It’s the Great Pumpkin Charlie Brown” We can’t seem to see the forest for the trees anymore… As for me, I’ll take good health this year….and oh…a brown paper bag of goodies…that’s about it.
When you get older, you develop cracks in your spiritual self. People you love grow up and “grow away” from you. Its a natural part of life, but it leaves cracks.
People that you love, both family and friends, die…and that leaves cracks. Never to hear those voices again. That’s the thing which gets me. If the eyes are the window to the soul, the voice is the soul’s connection to others. I miss the voices of my loved ones who are gone so much. I miss their touch.
Of course we can spackle some of the cracks with new relationships, new friends. Beautiful little grandchildren. New interests. And of course we can still cultivate the garden of love we have already growing with those who love us, and whom we love. Every garden needs a little fertilizer and water, and it’s up to all of us to provide it. If a move needs to be made to shore up a relationship, be the first one to make it. Don’t wait. If an apology is in order, don’t be the prideful one, be the humble one. Do it. If somebody needs help, do it without expecting anything in return. Do the hard things that need to be done to help, don’t just pick and choose the easy stuff.
Life is not about money, or fame, or being right all the time. Life is about relationships. Good relationships put fuel in your soul’s tank. Loving and being loved is what makes life worth living.
I saw some friends today I went to school with. Most of us for the entire 12 years. It reminded me that I learned how to care about other people by being close to these classmates. It set me up mentally to prepare for life’s permanent relationships by relating to them. Plus, I still care very much for all of them.
In closing I’d just like to say I think my cracks…the empty spots which have been left by life’s inevitable flow have been pretty well filled, and will continue to be, as long as I keep an open heart to change.