Tomorrow is my dear wife’s birthday. We got to discussing time tonight and how quickly it passes. We came to the conclusion that it would be nice to have a device enabling us to “slow down” the good times. Not just vacations and things such as that, but instead the years we spent raising our children. Those years flew by like an eagle in a steep dive. My memory being what it is now, those days are a blur for me.
I wish I could go back to that very last car trip that Paula and the kids and I took out to Idaho…driving out across the plains, through the mountains of Colorado and Utah. If was beautiful. I’m sure Kirsten, Teddy, and Matt don’t remember it quite as fondly though!
My wife and our family mean everything to me. There have been times when I may not have acted like it, but it is the absolute truth. They are more precious to me than any amount of money…gold, silver or diamonds. I don’t say this to ingratiate myself, I say it because it is the truth.
If I had done what I should have done, I could have done better. I should have managed my time better. Regret is useless at this point though. I will just have to hope that I use the time I have left more wisely. I have no time left for some things.
No time left to hate other people because of the color of their skin, or because of who they love.
No time left to try to manage other people’s business, or their beliefs. I have enough of a problem managing my own.
No time left to worry about whether or not other people’s opinions are right or wrong. I’m getting to the point where it doesn’t matter.
No time left to waste on arguing over things which I cannot control nor even wish to control. I’m never going to be President or King as I once imagined.
No time left for this or that smart alec remark or sarcastic retort. I’ve made a few this week I know, but my time on Facebook now is like a robin swooping down to grab a worm…just in and out. It’s probably better that way.
I’m trying my very best to concentrate on the the things that matter most in my life.
I really miss the pre-social media stuff, like “magic night” (that’s game!) and meals with no cell phones. The times before texting took the place of talking. The days when you had to get in the car and physically go see people. People like my Dad and Mom. I yearn for those days, but know they are not coming back. It makes me want to cry like a baby. But, I accept what life has become, with limitations.
If anyone ever invents that little slowing down time device they will be richer than Bill Gates. As for now… there’s no time left.