Author: thegraymaniac

I have to wonder, as the character Maximus says in “Gladiator”: “Are you not yet entertained? Is this not what you came here for?”

Westerners, especially Americans, have shifted from a society which valued truth, honesty, and hard work, to a culture which waits daily for “the next big thing”. We wait with baited breath for the next tragedy to be broadcast on our sixty inch screen televisions, so we can sit back and enjoy it….revel in it like a lion rolling in it’s own crap and then getting up and strutting around because he loves the smell so much. We love the smell.

We drive past the horrific accidents on the highway and turn our heads, craning our necks to catch a glimpse of some blood and gore. Just like the Romans at the coliseum.

Our grandparents worked in the fields, and the factories from dusk til dawn. Most of them then came home, ate their supper, read their Bible, or some other book…and then went to bed. They did this so their children and grandchildren could have a better life. And how do we repay them?

We became a society more obsessed with ourselves, and our carnal needs….the things that make us feel good, than with any other thing. We take more pleasure in anything closely resembling the old gladiatorial contests than we do anything else. Think about it, is that not correct?

We would rather have someone, or a group of someones tell us what to believe is truth, as long as we have our bread and circuses. Why did the emperors rule Rome for so long?

“Are you not yet entertained?”

If not yet, then what will it take?

We have 4 or 5 televisions per households, computers, mobile phones with apps for everything. People cannot cook a meal without their tablets sitting on their counters tuned to YouTube, telling them how to do it.

Our weekends are taken up with our modern day gladiatorial contests for which our children are trained almost from the moment of their birth to participate in, while we wildly scream, get mad, shoot off fireworks, get in fights over, bet on…all in order to be entertained. But it’s not enough.

We can no longer tell the truth from fiction. We cannot tell scripted from spontaneous. We cannot tell sincerity from sarcasm, bullying from bravery.

Our ancestors would be surprised at where we now stand. We stand right in the center of the coliseum with a bloody sword in our hands and yell out: “are you not yet entertained?”

We are not.

I wonder how other people “see” their memories, in their mind. Mine come bubbling up in little gray colorless bits and pieces most of the time. If I sit and purposefully try and remember some specific event which has taken place in my life, I fail to rake much information up into the pile.

I think the reason I write so much is because once I get onto a tangent of thought, once I get a good smell of a past brain remnant, then more and more starts boiling and cooking up to the surface.

I was watching little Eli today, and the thought just popped into sight about Kirsten sleeping on my tummy when she was a tiny baby. I worked at Westinghouse on a night shift back in the early 70’s, and Paula was a Southern Bell operator. She had odd hours. A lot of times when Paula was at work, and it was “baby nap time” I would just lay down on the couch and lay Kirsten on my tummy. It was already quite ample and I had no fear of her rolling off…She hadn’t mastered rolling over yet.

One day though, I was really out of it, and so was she.. and the phone rang. I came out a full sleep and jumped up…And rolled little Kisi on the floor. It was only a short distance and nothing was hurt but her feelings. I do think I took the phone off the hook after that.

File that one under “how children survive inexperienced parents”

The 1980’s and half of the 90’s were a blur. I was trying to get into the highly competitive world of songwriting in Nashville. I wrote hundreds of songs. I thought up thousands of titles and hooks. I played my guitar til my fingers bled. I went to Nashville once a week after work for songwriters meetings, and drove back home in the middle of the night. I sang three times at the Bluebird cafe, twice on open Mike night, and once after an audition. I had folks tell me, move here! You’ll get the contacts, you’ll make the friends, and you’ll make it either as a singer or writer, or both. I made demos on a regular basis and put them on cassette tapes and mailed, and mailed. I called and called. I could never pull the trigger and make the move though. My thirties and then my forties came and went. There was no “The Voice” It was way before “American Idol” Long before computers, digital age, and the like. “You will never make it if you ain’t here, they’ll think you aren’t committed… ” Turns out they were right.

I was committed to my family. My wife and my kids. The time I spent chasing that unreachable dream of mine is time I lost with them. That’s a regret.

You know why there are so few celebrities who are truly happy in their personal lives? It’s because the climb to where they are has taken all of their energy and emotions. (Until the new age now of the show winning instant celebrities….many of whom are soundly resented by the old timers who came up the “hard way” and paid their dues)

I don’t regret anything about where I am, or what I’m doing now. It’s where I want and need to be. Anyways…..after I win that 800 million dollar lottery, I’ll buy my own record company. Count on it.

Days

I think of a spring breeze, rushing through the air,

It has no body, and yet it’s there,

And of the sunshine, I give praise,

For turning darkness into days.

Oh for these things we cannot see,

Without which, we could not be,

I give my thanks eternally.

Larry B.

I remember the days when “going out to eat” for us meant taking the 59 Chevy with the big fins and driving down to the local A&W drive in. It used to be situated somewhere close to where the Credit Union now sits. There wasn’t any “Longhorns” or “Red Lobster” and…we couldn’t have gone there even if there had been. Mill wages were low in those days…the late 50’s and very early 60’s. Luxuries were few. I got 50 cents a week for doing my part of the chores. I washed and dried dishes and raked leaves. I did various other “as per” tasks too. If Daddy thought of anything else that needed doing which I was capable of doing, then “per” Daddy…I’d better do it if I wanted my two quarters. I wanted them badly. Those two quarters bought me some cokes, some candy bars and three comics. Comics started out at a dime when I first started reading them. When they went up to 12 cents sometime in the sixties, I was so mad I coulda’ bit nails in two. I asked for a raise in my allowance, and much to my surprise my Dad starting giving me three quarters a week! I figure my Dad must have known about inflation and such.

Anyway, we went to the A&W once every couple of weeks. I loved those slaw dogs and a frosty mug of root beer. If I was on death row right now and they asked me what I wanted for my final meal I would tell them if they could find an old fashioned A&W, I would take two foot long slaw dogs with mustard and a large mug of root beer in a frosted mug. I would.

The little waitress (not a server back then) would come out with her brown paper pad, and ask for our order. She jotted it down, and within minutes would be toting that big old window tray with the hooks on the side back to the car with all the goodies on it. Of course we all had a mug of root beer. What in the world good would it have been to go to A&W and order a coke to drink? Their tater tots were delicious too, and I often had them to go along with the hot dog. I believe that once or twice Dad bought one of the mugs from them. I think a lot of people liked them…and probably quite a few drove off with them. The A&W people knew though…and when they came back again they’d get charged for those mugs! They finally got smart at some point in the future and started selling those little “souvenir” small mugs.

All of this from watching a football game being played in subzero weather and seeing a guy actually drinking an ice covered beverage of some kind….

All this walking I have been doing has taught me many things over the past almost 5 years or so:

1. It takes a lot more walking to burn off the food you eat than it does arm motion to put it in your mouth.

2. You have to work really, really hard to take a photo in a small rural Southern town, or near Chattanooga, without getting a power line or power pole in the frame.

3. The bird sitting on the power line WILL wait until you walk under him to poop.

4. If you walk over a block without without a dog barking at you, you have gone too far and are out “in the country”

5. People will stare at you like you are crazy, especially if you have your phone or camera out taking pictures.

6. Going up and down 45% hills is hard walking!!

Seriously though, the moments of serenity and peace which I have felt during these past years has been worth the effort. There’s always something to see!

On almost every day, there is something which will make you smile or laugh…like the squirrel I scared today who fell off the narrow guide wire he was trying to run up to get away from me, or the very strong odor of the skunk I scared when I quickly opened the back door this evening.

There was the robin who kept flying and walking in front of me, obviously thinking I either had food, or was food. There was the gigantic predator wingspan of the hawk I saw winging tonight.

The air is usually clean and fresh…and apparently later on this week will be really fresh, as in in below freezing temperature wise, even though it’ll be in the 60’s tomorrow. Georgia is one of those states where you can have 4 seasons in one week….but hey, I’m not complaining cause it ain’t raining!

I might start going to the gym on some of those really cold days…but then again, those low temperatures might provide some unique opportunities to photograph something new and unusual.

We will see….

It’s cold now, but now as cold as it’s ever been. The Winters of the 1980’s were AWFUL.

Following are some all time lows for Alabama and Georgia:

Lows that hit Alabama in mid-January of 1985.

For that period of time the Heart of Dixie was cold. How cold? Here are the low temperature records set then:

Anniston, -5; Auburn, -7; Dothan, 0; Florence, -11; Fort Payne, -14; Gulf Shores, 9; Montgomery, -3; Tuscaloosa, -3.

Here are the 10 coldest temps recorded in Atlanta:

-9 degrees, Feb. 13, 1899

-8, Jan. 21, 1985

-6, Jan. 20, 1985

-5, Jan. 11, 1982

-3, Jan. 30. 1966

-3, Jan. 24, 1963

-2, Jan. 10, 1982

-1, Jan. 6, 1884

0, Dec. 25, 1983

0, Jan. 17, 1982I

I remember those cold winters during the 80’s and I know it was colder in North Georgia than it was in Atlanta. I remember having to get up under the old house on ninth street in Trion and using candles, wood fires, and propane torches to thaw out those metal pipes! Laying on the ground for hours and thawing those pipes was no fun. After the first couple of years, I went to the hardware store and was able to buy insulation that snapped around the pipes and I didn’t have to thaw them much after that.

I have read a lot of New Year’s posts, and even before New Year’s where people are always using the phrase “I am blessed” or “feeling blessed” I wonder.

I think a lot of times we humans don’t give ourselves the credit that we are due in life. Our hard work, kindness, compassion, generosity, our dedication to these things, all of this creates the success (or if you are lacking these things, the failure) of our lives.

If you win the lottery…you are lucky! If you get into a great college, you have worked hard, studied hard and fought hard to get there. If you survive a terrible accident, or a major medical crisis….you have been aided by science and by the education of the medical professionals and staff.

I think we should reassess our use of the term “being blessed” If you consider it carefully, in most cases we as humans are responsible for our blessings. If you get a great job you applied for, is it because of your qualifications and record…or were you blessed? Were the people who applied for that job and didn’t get it cursed?

Do we too often recognize the accomplishments and hard work of other people by saying they are blessed? Is that belittling them as a person to think that they have been given whatever it is that they are getting as a gift from God?

I believe in God. I know not the true nature of God. I don’t think that when I wake up every morning it is because God has blessed me with another day. You may disagree, and if you do…then I will not argue the point with you.

I believe that God has given us the ultimate blessing. The gift of life on this Earth. The gift of being able to interact with other people, to love them. The gift of being able to enjoy all the things we have been inserted into with this gift of life. Live life. Enjoy life. Revel in it. This is our one time trip through it and we should not sell our humanity and the gifts of our humaness short. We create our own blessings by our actions and thoughts. Let’s create many of them this year.

I have to say, this New Year….this new decade, seems to have crept up on me without me having had much time to prepare. I’d like to start it off anew by saying:

If I have offended you in any way in this past year, I apologize. It may happen again this year….but perhaps not.

If I have made you laugh or smile this past year, it makes me happy.

If I have shared an image or picture which you liked, it’s my pleasure.

If we have had thoughts of concern, or for wishes for better health for others, then may others do the same for us as we need it.

If we have shared our weaknesses, let us be stronger next year.

If we are concerned about changing the world for the good, let us persevere, let us do the right things. Let us reject things we know to be false, and strive for truth.

If we have loved, let’s continue to love. If we have hated…let us instead try love!

Let us all remember that life is short.

I can’t express to my family how much I love them for the memories and help and laughter we have shared this past year. I hope we have many more years ahead to build good memories.

That Scotsman Robert Burns said:

“We two have paddled in the stream,

from morning sun till dine† ;

But seas between us broad have roared

since auld lang syne.”

There are many people with whom I have “paddled in the stream” of life with over the years who are not here for this celebration of “days gone by” The older we get, the more that happens.

Tonight when the ball drops, IF I am still awake I will remember them….and in the way of life as memories go, I will think of all the good times and none of the bad. Let’s make our memories goods ones in 2020, so when someone sings auld lang syne and we are not here they will remember US fondly.

The best of New Years to you my friends and family.

In our culture, a new year signifies a new beginning. People make resolutions they hardly ever keep. Mostly after a few days or a couple of weeks we resume our “normal” lives.

I wish this year could be different. I wish it could be the year of caring. I wish it was the year that nobody went hungry, nobody died from exposure because the have no home.

I wish it was the year that no soldiers died in service, and that most of them could come home.

I wish it was the year we realize we need to change our energy needs, and begin to try and reverse the damage to our climate.

I wish that nobody dies from an overdose, and that a cure for cancer can be found.

Why can’t these things, and many other problems with our world and our civilization be done?

We put men on the moon. So these other simple things should be a cinch. We put so much research money into weapons of mass destruction, that the Russians say they have an unstoppable bomb. Yet, the cancer rate in their country is among the highest in the world, if not the highest. Remember Chernobyl? Could they cure cancer if they spent the same amount of money researching it as they do nuclear bombs? Could we in America do it if we spent the same amount of money on research as we do on weapons?

Things will more than likely stay the same. Status quo, or maybe get worse.

As I said earlier this week, the best we can do is to love our family and care for them first, and then try to extend that circle gradually outward. We can encompass friends, then take in strangers. We can care for citizens and immigrants. We can do it if, and only if we want to. We can decide to be better, or we can stay stuck in stasis. We can band together for good, or we can let those people who hate take us over, and tell us how to think. I don’t want to do that.

I want to become more active in helping people, all people that I can. I want to take better care of my dogs, even if it’s just a warm blanket for them to sleep with. They are old, and so am I. Warm blankets mean a lot. Warm hugs mean a lot. Warmth is caring, not caring is callousness. I’ve had it with callousness.

Now, after the ball drops, I’m going to bed and listen to Dan Fogelberg sing “Another Auld Lang Syne” and try and get some sleep. Then I’m going to wake up in a new year tomorrow and try and be a better man.

That’s not a resolution, that’s a promise. Join me if you can.

Happy New Year to everyone. Love you all.