Month: February 2021

I been talking about a lot of stuff lately…stuff that may or may not count. I wanted to share the way that I REALLY feel about life, so that if and when I say silly things on FB, just remember what I have said here.

It all began with one day…when there was a really beautiful Sunrise and Sunset…..
We have all seen them. Beautiful Sunrises. Mornings when the light turns dozens of colors behind a scant screen of clouds. Everything from muted purples to magentas, to bright blood red. How does a beautiful Sunrise make you feel?

For me the beginning of the day, which is signified by that marvelous sunrise, symbolizes a daily rebirth. A new beginning, a time when everything is new again and all options for doing things wonderful, useful, loving, and kind are open. It renews my soul. It tells me in no uncertain terms that I am alive, and that I have been treated to the sight of some of the most beautiful colors on God’s own palette. I give thanks for life and the chance to live it. To experience other people, people who I love and who love me. To touch another person, even to simply shake hands or to brush back the hair of my daughter, my granddaughter, or my wife from their foreheads is an experience that I will only get to enjoy once. Not in terms of the number of times that I touch them, but in terms of doing this act while in this life. Just this once, which I will remember, in any case. Just this one opportunity to live and to feel the warmth of the ones you really love.

I can taste food for another day and hear music. I don’t really even care what kind most of the time…I generally like it all. I get the privilege of talking and interacting with other people, most of the time in a positive manner. All of this starts with the beautiful Sunrise that I saw while walking yesterday.

Then that same evening, there was a stupendous Sunset. How does a gentle sunset make you feel?

The colors were a similar palette as was the Sunrise, but the feeling was different. Day was leaving. I felt peaceful. I felt content. My vigilance for the day was done. I am at home, my familiar place, my territory. I had accomplished all I could during the day and I was satisfied. Maybe I should have tried to do more, I feel that way practically every day. But in the awesome light of that Sunset I felt happy, tired but happy. I was glad to be home, and be with the ones that I love. My tasks for the day are done. I would eventually lay down that night, and rest this body that God gave me, happy to have seen another day on Earth.

Life and Death are like the sunrise and sunset. Both are beautiful in their own way, similar, yet vastly different. It’s what happens in between, what WE make happen in between that forms the legacy of our lives. It’s the appreciation of getting to see the sunrises and sunsets of other peoples lives that hopefully will make us appreciate our own and be less afraid of the final sunset that we all must come to one day. Not melancholy, but happy to have shined and to have enjoyed being in the light. I know I am!

We all fear the unknown, and not knowing what’s on the other side of that Sunset IS a bit scary. Even to those who are secure in their beliefs and solid in their convictions. I experience that tinge, we all probably do when we think about it. But I believe the soul goes on, and we are meant to all be together again. I am thankful for that.

I thought about it a lot this past weekend. What determines how we judge whether our lives have been positive or negative? I finally decided that it all comes down to attitude. Your attitude is what makes the difference in whether you are having a good life, or a bad life. Attitude is either your best friend, or your worst enemy. It’s your greatest asset or your worst liability. It’s easy to say that we are going to change our attitudes. I have said it many times before, and then after a while, I find myself slowly slipping back into my old habits, and again becoming negative. That old pessimism that has been prevalent in my life starts to creep up on me like a swamp gator sneaking in for the kill. And when it gets close enough…BOOM…it springs. It’s not easy changing your attitude. Of course, nobody can stay positive all the time. At least I don’t think that’s possible. I have known some pretty positive people, and even they get down on life every now and then. I think the magic trick is picking yourself up quickly after you do get down. It’s not an easy trick to learn. It's not built into some people's genetic makeup, which makes it even harder. One thing which I think helps is to try and surround yourself with people who have positive attitudes. Or, in my own case, I often find more solace and ability to rebound by doing just the opposite. I get outside and take long walks, a lot of time by myself. On a recent walk I took down by the river, I prowled along the shore like a hermit crab...picking things up and looking at them....simply breathing in the air, and reflecting and rebuilding the neurons in my brain. I could have probably spent the entire day doing it. Weird old guy. It's not for everybody, but it works for me in the here and now.As we get older, we have an ever growing bank of memories on which to reflect and remember. I think now looking back down the pipeline of my life that even the bad days were good. I have had some pretty dang bad days. I think we need them. If we have no very bad days we don't have anything to which to compare the very good days. There has to be contrast, there has to be dark and light, evil and good. However, I believe I have learned something from all of my days. I hope all of us have. One thing I really appreciate is having good kids, and I am grateful for the people they have chosen to live their lives with. That’s one of the things I really didn’t think about back when Paula and I were trying to raise our children. I didn’t realize that instead of 3 kids we were going to end up with 6 one of these days. (and some super grandchildren to boot!) It's a funny thing about how your children and grandchildren can become great friends in the process of living you life, if you will let them. Back to good life, bad life. Attitude. Is there anyway that anyone knows of to stay more on the track of being on the positive side? I think sometimes I go up and down more than a roller coaster. It would be better to stay up at the top of the hill but I am sure that there are no easy solutions for doing it. It takes work, and it takes consistency. I hope everyone is having success. One thing that helps me though, is to put my thoughts down on paper…even if it is virtual paper. At least I can kind of keep up with that way. I think that's probably the biggest thing I like about this "social media" experience. There's a bunch of things which have developed which I don't care for, but as a friend was telling me the other day, he thinks the good outweighs the bad. I guess time will tell on that account.

I exercised an extra half hour tonight, walking out and back on the patio…my weights in my hands, punching and swinging like I usually do. This in addition to the fifty minutes I did this morning. The blood sugar is creeping up and I’d like to slow it down.

When I finished, I stood on the edge of the patio, with my arms held down at my back like a rocket man, and I gazed up longingly and lovingly at the sky….

If I could fly, oh if only. Human beings have yearned to fly since they first caught sight of the birds in the air thousands of years ago. Jealous of their freedom.
Icarus and Daedulus tried and failed from getting too close to the sun. DaVinci drew plans for the Ornithocopter, but it never was built. Too busy painting Mona Lisa?

And oh I do know the Wright brothers gave us a flying machine to ride in, but that is not the same.

R. Kelley sang: “I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky.” But it was all metaphorical.
“I’ll Fly Away, Oh Glory” ….but will I really? When I was a child, I used to dream of flying. Not in a plane or copter, but just spreading my arms and soaring. God, those were good dreams. I wish I could dream them again, but it’s been years. When I was a child, I thought and spoke like a child. But now I am grown and must put away childish things. No more Peter Pan, fairy dust and Neverland.

But I do wish I could fly. I’ve had some “well wishers” want me to give it a try as they have frequently asked me to go jump off a cliff, but thankfully I never did.

I think perhaps when that spark which resides within us all takes leave of this vehicle it is in, I will get my wish. I hope I can at least look back over my shoulder and see the trees and mountains and lakes and rivers one last time. That’s not asking for much considering all the hours I have put in here at the “office” is it?

I don’t think so.

In all the Universe there are probably no other beings like we humans. I know that science has found there are many Earth like planets out there, but Earth like is not Earth.

When you think about the fact that we alone may be the only intelligent life in the cosmos it is a daunting thought. I realize that many people don’t believe we are “alone” in the Universe, but so far there is no proof to the contrary…Star Wars and Star Trek notwithstanding.

It leads me to think that humanity has a huge responsibility. We have an obligation to find a way forward to peace. We have almost a sacred trust to preserve our species. There is either meaning to life, or not.

We can believe that this tiny sand grain sanctuary of living things in the huge beach which is the Universe, is just an accident comprised of some chemicals and some warm water and sunshine, or we can believe there is meaning. I believe there is meaning, perhaps the ultimate meaning in our existence.

Until I see some alien spaceship come flying in, or see a spiritual manifestation telling me differently, I am going to assume our meaning and our purpose is to settle our earthly differences and then “go boldly where no man (or woman) has gone before”. Go boldly and discover the truth.

There are no citizens of the United States now alive who remember the original Civil war, and the carnage and death it brought to our country. There are no people living who listened to Abraham Lincoln say the following:

Fourscore and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent, a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this. But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate-we can not consecrate-we can not hallow-this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us-that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion-that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain-that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom-and that government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth.

Who will make any future speeches so moving and so pertinent as this one.

A friendship on these pages does not equal a friendship in real life. Pixels are not touches, not words heard by the ears, not eyes meeting in conversation, Love, or sorrow.

There is no sound to this, no inflections or subtle textures such as we have in real conversation. These squiggles contain no warm red blood running through their flat, black on white presence on this page.

I wouldn’t trade ten thousand words written here, for five minutes and a cup of coffee with any of you.

We’ve got to find a stopping point for all this “terminal” nonsense, and abstract scripted anger that the creators of these mediums have dropped us into.

I’m going to start to refuse to let the unreal continue to rule the real world every chance I get. Think about it yourself. We are spending way too much time letting other people with bad intent create our idealism and opinions for us.