Someone told me the other day, “we don’t hear much from you anymore.” Guess they are probably right. I repurpose old posts as blogs, rewrite some old stories and post them, and generally just let it go at that.
I’ve about stopped going out in nature and taking walks. Generally now, I just do an hour inside in the mornings. Maybe it’s just the weather and the short days….but maybe not. I don’t feel compelled to photograph sunrises and sunsets. Most of the photos I’ve taken lately have been dark and scary, like many of my dreams. Maybe the sun just has not shined enough of late. Or, maybe it’s just me. My moody self showing itself in my actions.
There are things I intend to get done which are not getting done. What is wrong? Winter time blahs?
My Daddy always told me that when you get down, you have to pull yourself up, because nobody else is going to do it for you. They got their own battles they’re fighting. I figure he was pretty much correct, as usual. If I hadn’t grown up with his wisdom, I’d be a lot more stupid then I sometimes am.
I remember so very many times as a kid…a young teenager, that I would just take off on a Saturday during the school year, or on any particular day in the summer and just go walk and explore around my home town. I might walk up to the dam, and walk across the rocks right up next to the base of the dam, and feel the spray coming off the top. I’d go down underneath the wagon bridge and dig some of those giant green yucky earth worms which lived there and fish in the river with them. If I caught anything, I’d throw it back. Who wanted to clean and eat anything out of there, especially since the worms right next to the river were a weird green!
I’d go into the woods, behind the cemetery above Simmons street, and climb trees. I’d lay in the grass and listen for the leaves to rustle, and wonder what kind of animal was creeping around. I spent hours practicing throwing my straight bladed scout knife into the side of trees. Got pretty good at it. I’d get a baseball and glove, and spend hours bouncing it off one of the old cement walls down by the school.
I’d hike over the hill from happy top to the golf course and hunt golf balls…always keeping an eye out for Roy Williams, as you weren’t supposed to hunt them except on Tuesdays. During the summer Mike Brown and me would dive off the river on the right hand side of number one hole and feel our way down the mushy banks. We found tons of balls there.
Those were the days when I didn’t feel like I needed to get anything done. Days when I wasn’t responsible for anything, Days I didn’t have to justify a political position on Facebook, or worry about going to hell for being a democrat and a sinner. (One and the same??)
In actuality, I really don’t worry about that now. The only thing I’m focused on is tomorrow and keeping my little ones safe. Keep from stepping on the poor old dog. Keep from being so grouchy, so my wife will be happier. And, as the days get longer, maybe I’ll be motivated to get back out and walk the parks again. I’ll find a focus setting on my camera for sunsets and sunrises. Get rid of the Winter blahs, and get some of those other things done I’ve been meaning to do.