I find as the years pile up that perspective changes. What most people think of me personally means very little. Worldly items pass like windblown leaves in the storm of days. They rust or grown moldy. They get lost, and unless there is a memory attached to them….they mean very little.
At some point, even we ordinary people start to consider our “legacy”…what will it be?
It’s been 70 days now since I have held any of my children, or my grandchildren. I have seen them, and have talked with them in person…and they know that I love them dearly. Having never been a very “social” man, my family have also become my best friends over the years also. I have always loved them, but having them as friends is now so important.
If I ever have a legacy it will not be anything I have every written or said, anything I have possessed or will possess, anything which I bequeath, anything concrete thing I have ever created. it won’t be any worldly thing I leave behind. It will be the memories that we have reached out and grabbed together. I think that life is just a continuous stream of memories, and we have to consciously reach in and grab and hold onto the ones we want to keep. I didn’t think as much about grabbing as many as I wanted when I was younger. Sometimes now I lay awake and try to go back in time and find some of the great ones. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t.
Whatever little legacy I create, It will be composed of the memories our family have grabbed together, the images I leave… in the minds of those I love. The special times, maybe even the mundane times, perhaps even some times of anguish or grieving which we shared. Even those “bad” memories make up the completeness of what we are as human beings. No life is ever comprised of complete happiness, even in a Disney movie!
Maybe It will be a kind word that people who I call my friends might say about me. I have a few left who will perhaps remember a few times we had together.
That’s all which is going to matter really. That’s all we can ask for. My Grandma Stewart always said that we only die when we pass out of memory….so, perhaps I’ll still be “around” for some time to come.