Day: June 27, 2018

Well…when at first you don’t succeed getting something posted try two more times….but it’s worth trying again:

I noticed that Mrs. Nellie McWhorter has died. Besides my Mom and Dad she is the person in Trion of whom I have the longest memories. I remember her from when we lived up on sixth street back in the early 1950’s. She was always so nice to the little crazy boy next door. She let me hunt lightning bugs in her back yard, and even gave me a jar to put them in. She told me “Make sure and let them out in the morning, so they don’t die” I had fun with those little bugs that night. Bet I had a hundred of them in that jar! She also would let me play in their driveway with my little old “tootsie” toy cars. The neighbors ALWAYS had a better driveway to play in! She never had a cross word that I can remember. I know that her husband passed away fairly early and left her a widow. I remember seeing her out and about back in the 1970’s after we moved back to Trion, and was surprised she know my name…Back 10 or more years ago she started driving her little blue Ford sedan down to Trade Day and selling knick knacks and fried pies to make a little money to make it through the month on. A lot of elderly people did and are doing that. I got to renew my friendship with her, because I loved the pies and I hate I didn’t know who to ask what had happened to her. I have been missing her, and now know we will continue to miss her. It happens quite often with that group of older folks, one of whom I am fast becoming, who come down to set up and make a few little dollars. RIP Mrs. Nellie…you will be missed.

Once Upon a Cloudy Day….

One of the most beautiful days of my life was sometime back in the summer of 1960. It’s a vivid memory of a very ordinary act.

It was a day not unlike the ones we have had lately. Lots of blue sky and big puffy clouds in the sky. The blue was a deep azure, something which seemed unusual to me that day at the age of 10. The clouds were bright white and as puffy as giant marshmallows and were assuming all kinds of neat shapes.

We had a lot of clover in our side yard, and it wasn’t terribly hot, so I went and lay down in one of those gently cool and wonderful smelling plots of grass, and looked straight up into the air. I can understand why the honey bees love the clover. It smelled like the world itself…all wrapped up in a bevy of tiny little white blossoms. I imagined each white cloud which floated by as something which existed in the world. There was an elephant, one shaped like an arrowhead, and another like Casper the Friendly Ghost’s head (OK…I read too many comic books…) I didn’t think much about anything else. I think I kind of just “zoned out” for about an hour and lay there with both my eyes and my mouth wide open.

I didn’t care what the people in the rest of the world were doing right then. I didn’t know anything about war or killing yet. I hadn’t even heard the name “Vietnam” and I had no cares about what was going on in Washington D.C. I only cared about what was happening at that moment. Right then was the only thing which mattered to me!

That was the last time I ever remember doing that. I think it’s the closest I ever came to just absolutely becoming a part and parcel with the world around me. I believe that’s why it still seems fresh in my memory, even though it’s been 53 years ago.

I think about it sometimes when the sky is an azure blue and the clouds are all puffy and big, and I see a big patch of clover. I wonder if it would be the same. I would probably just lay there and think about things which I “need” to do. Tasks which have to be done.

I guess all I can ask for is to have a patch of clover planted over my head one of these days. Then I’ll have a long, long time to look up at the sky. I love that day though, and still remember it with fondness.

Tomorrow is my dear wife’s birthday. We got to discussing time tonight and how quickly it passes. We came to the conclusion that it would be nice to have a device enabling us to “slow down” the good times. Not just vacations and things such as that, but instead the years we spent raising our children. Those years flew by like an eagle in a steep dive. My memory being what it is now, those days are a blur for me.

I wish I could go back to that very last car trip that Paula and the kids and I took out to Idaho…driving out across the plains, through the mountains of Colorado and Utah. If was beautiful. I’m sure Kirsten, Teddy, and Matt don’t remember it quite as fondly though!

My wife and our family mean everything to me. There have been times when I may not have acted like it, but it is the absolute truth. They are more precious to me than any amount of money…gold, silver or diamonds. I don’t say this to ingratiate myself, I say it because it is the truth.

If I had done what I should have done, I could have done better. I should have managed my time better. Regret is useless at this point though. I will just have to hope that I use the time I have left more wisely. I have no time left for some things.

No time left to hate other people because of the color of their skin, or because of who they love.

No time left to try to manage other people’s business, or their beliefs. I have enough of a problem managing my own.

No time left to worry about whether or not other people’s opinions are right or wrong. I’m getting to the point where it doesn’t matter.

No time left to waste on arguing over things which I cannot control nor even wish to control. I’m never going to be President or King as I once imagined.

No time left for this or that smart alec remark or sarcastic retort. I’ve made a few this week I know, but my time on Facebook now is like a robin swooping down to grab a worm…just in and out. It’s probably better that way.

I’m trying my very best to concentrate on the the things that matter most in my life.

I really miss the pre-social media stuff, like “magic night” (that’s game!) and meals with no cell phones. The times before texting took the place of talking. The days when you had to get in the car and physically go see people. People like my Dad and Mom. I yearn for those days, but know they are not coming back. It makes me want to cry like a baby. But, I accept what life has become, with limitations.

If anyone ever invents that little slowing down time device they will be richer than Bill Gates. As for now… there’s no time left.

Percentages…I think about them. Concerning knowledge of the Universe, I speculate we know about 0.001%. Of God we probably know even less. We place so much importance on petty differences, and our human “problems” we sometimes completely forget that caring and understanding should be our two primary imperatives. Those two simple emotions embraced totally by all, would solve 99.99% of those human problems…thereby giving us much more time to increase our knowledge of God, his nature, and the Universe he created, in which we exist.

At some point, we will all be transformed. So,…. what’s so hard about getting along now?