Writing for Sanity's Sake

I wonder if anyone has people from their childhood whom they hold in high regard? People who were not your parents or other kinfolk.

Were there people in the background of your childhood who you would hold up as examples of respectible citizens to your children or grandchildren?
What was it about them that led you to respect them?

Did they holler and scream profanities? Did they tell you to hate other people, or that other people should be hated because they were different in some way from you? Did they let you get away with doing that to other people?

Instead, did they share things with you? Did they counsel you in a calm way about the way life should be lived? Did they live their lives as examples of humanity which you wanted to follow, and want to emulate?

Did you love them and respect them for their kindness, their morality, their stalwartness in the face of stubborn problems, and life’s bumps in the road? Did you admire them for the way they could solve problems between others without getting all “red in the face” or threatening to go get a gun and shoot somebody? Did they cook you a meal when you were hungry? Did any of them come by your house with hand me down clothing that their kids had outgrown because they knew your family could use them?

I remember a lot of people like that around here. Teachers, coaches, millworkers, neighbors, store owners…lot’s of others. I could start naming names, but those of you who grew up around here know the ones I’m talking about. They were here both male and female. They were Christian and non Christian. They were black and white.

I have to wonder, when we have those people to admire and to revere, and to hold up to high esteem because of their character…..why would we want people of lesser quality to “represent” us as leaders in our country? I cannot figure it out.

“When you’re weary, feeling small….when tears are in your eyes, I’ll dry them all.” “I’m on your side…”

It’s important to remember, who’s on your side. Because in this life you must choose a side.

Bridge Over Troubled Waters, by Simon and Garfunkel was the first song I heard on the radio back in 1970 as I was driving home from the hospital after my daughter died. It has both haunted and encouraged me for well over forty years now, most especially that one line: “when you need a friend, I’m sailing right behind,”

…. and I have these days when I have done nothing to be a friend, or very little, but in some odd coincidence I hear this song on the radio driving home from dropping off a very wonderful little baby, and I’m encouraged that tomorrow will be a good day.

Remember I’m on your side, and I’m sailing right behind.

If you are looking for a purpose in life and cannot find one, perhaps you need to look in a different direction.

I’ve looked in a lot of directions during my life.

I’m kind of like Forrest Gump who told the little old lady at the first of the movie: “I’ve worn a lot of shoes”. I’ve done the same thing. Worn a lot of shoes, and looked in a lot of directions.

I’ve tried to do and be many things, and I’ve never been a wild success at any of them. I’ve written songs and sung, I’ve taken photographs, I’ve written essays and themes, and just general writing. Those are the things I love to do. None of them were things I did “as a career”. For that, I’ve been mostly a “jack of all trades”. Doing this, that, and the other, while raising my children and helping with the grands.

I’ve been frustrated at times about success, but I’ve finally just about come to the point where I believe that “success” is in the eyes of the beholder….and of those who behold the beholder. (Got that?).

It’s not that complex really. Not as complicated as I’ve made it out. The old John Lennon quote holds true that “life is what happens while your making other plans”. It is. It does. You have to realize those spaces in between “your plans” can be your happiest moments.

For the vast majority of us, being rich and famous just isn’t in our destiny. We weren’t in the right place at the right time, or we were not single mindedly driven to the point of ignoring all other things, in order to be successful at just one.

Being happy is what you make it, and the frustration sets in when you can’t accept that some goals you set may never be achieved.

I still have things I’d like to do, but having a good, loving day with my family is now one of my most sought after accomplishments. Getting some nice pictures of the world around me, and sharing those, or writing just a line or two that encourages other people is something that brings me joy.

You can’t beat yourself up about the past, or you’ll be bloody ever dang day. I’m not going to do it….at least I’m going to try not too. Hope you will think about it, and do the same. Being bloody ain’t worth it.

If we all knew what the future held in store, then there would be no need in living out our lives. If everything were preordained, what would be the use in trying?

I believe we have the means and the ability to change the future….our future, we just need to venture ahead with the knowledge that nothing is written in stone. No outcomes are already decided.

Don’t underestimate the gift of the light with which we were created.
It can be bright enough to totally illuminate our lives, and the lives of others with whom we come in touch, if we allow it to shine.
It is the most powerful tool against the darkness which attempts to repress our happiness and balance. The darkness which is on display every day. The corrosiveness of false light.
Remember the truth, and the true light.
It is the one thing which connects not only humanity, but all life. It connects not only humanity to the world around us, but also the world around us to the Universe.
We are all star dust, combined intricately with the light, and I believe the light is love and not hate. I believe the light is the good of humanity and not the bad. Everyone knows the difference in their hearts, whether they admit it or not. The choice to be a representative of the light or a representative of the dark is each person’s choice to make.

Some things will never change, yet change is inevitable.

A paradox?

Perhaps not.

Time will keep on passing. Tomorrow night is proof of that as we see another new year ushered in with celebrations, parties, and merriment. That change, the one which the passage of time causes, is inevitable.

Yet still human beings continue to hate other human beings for a myriad of reasons. Wars are continually being fought, and innocent people continue to die.

The self righteous continue to congratulate themselves on always being right, and bristle with anger if challenged on their opinions.

Those things never change, and never will as long as humanity inhabits the earth.

A new year comes. It will be here soon, and there will be many, many changes before we see the earth circle the sun again.

In the meantime, let us at least try and mitigate and minimize those bad things which are going to stay the same. Those things which hurt and dehumanize all of us.

AN OLD FASHIONED CHRISTMAS- 2013

As I have said before, we spent a half of a school year in 1960 at my Grandparent’s house in Blue Ridge because Mom was sick. I was enrolled in school there for almost half the year, which including the Christmas vacation for that year.
My Grandparent’s residence was a desolate place back then. It was the very last occupied house on Snake nation road at that time. A rough, ragged, rocky, muddy when it rained, and creek crossed road which took about 30 minutes to traverse from the turn off at the cemetery, to their modest gray wooded little two story house. Grandpa’s eight to ten bee hives stood like the sentinels of Stonehenge out in front of their house on top of huge flat rocks Grandpa had dragged up there on a wood sledge. I can imagine that their construction probably resembled in miniature that wonder of the English countryside, because the hill leading from the road to Grandpa’s house was extremely steep. A lot of times when it was wet and muddy my Dad had to get a strong running start from Snake nation road before he turned into Grandpa’s driveway and then as soon as he turned left, he had to gun the gas as hard as possible to try and make the curve up the hill to the tiny parking space in front of the house. Sometimes we just didn’t make it. The tires might have been a little too worn, or the mud a little too thick. We would end up having to park down below the beehives out in the high grass and grab our suitcases and trek up the hill, trying our best not to slip and fall flat on our faces.
But, this year my Mom, my brother and I were already there, and it was for Daddy alone we waited on the day before Christmas Eve. I heard his car first and went and stood out front, next to the porch. He came around the curve which was just in eyesight across the road from “Uncle Lark’s driveway. Lark Davenport’s was my Grandpa’s Uncle…his Mother’s brother and his farm sat across Long Branch creek from Grandpa’s house. The only way to get over there in a hurry was to walk the narrow little half log bridges that the two men had laid down across the fast running little creek in order to access each other’s house if the need arose. It rarely ever arose, but the logs were there just in case.
Daddy drove up the driveway and into Grandpa’s little parking space without any problems that day since it was dry…cold, but dry. It seemed like it was always cold in Blue Ridge that time of the year not matter what was happening elsewhere. We were in the “mountains” of Georgia…..the foothills of the Smokey Mountains which lay not too many miles away across the border into North Carolina.
I hugged my Dad, and my brother ran up to him and Daddy picked him up. Mom didn’t have much to say…things still very unsettled between them.
Grandma and I had been the ones to get the little Christmas tree a few days earlier. We had gone out into the woods and hiked around for quite a while, and found just a little old pine tree that looked nice. Grandma cut it down with the hatchet she had brought with her, and we took it back and Mike and I helped her decorate it. It was about the size of Charlie Brown’s little tree and Grandma had put it up on a table so that the lights could be seen…that one string of lights that she owned. There were maybe a dozen ornaments on it. It looked wonderful to me…as beautiful as any Christmas tree before or since. Grandma also hung our stocking from their mantle, on the far ends away from where the vent from the stove was. There were candy canes hanging around also, giving the old house a festive and fabulous look.
We always slept upstairs in the old house. Since the only source of heat in the house was a potbellied wood stove in the “living room” downstairs. During the cold Christmas weather we slept under 5 or six quilts upstairs. It was one of those situations where when you got warm, you didn’t move out of your “spot” If you moved over a foot, you would have to warm up that spot all over again. Most of the time you could see the fog from your breath, if you had your head out from under the covers. This was how we bedded down on Christmas Eve that year.
I never slept well on Christmas Eve. I always listened for Santa, but never quite heard him. Grandpa would always go “ho, ho ho” a couple of times, but I always knew it was him. He wasn’t fooling me. I heard the trunk of a car slam shut after we had been in bed an hour or so….then drifted off into a light sleep.
I heard Grandpa stoking up the potbelly stove about 5 am, and I waited the required 30 minutes or so until I knew the downstairs would be warm before I woke my brother up and we went running downstairs. All the grownups were already up and having coffee. Grandma already had biscuits in the oven, and we know that a delicious breakfast would soon be coming. Under the tree there were presents! In our stockings there was a plethora of oranges, apples, nuts, peppermint and other great hard candies. We could have our stockings but had to wait until after breakfast to tear into our presents.
We had three presents a piece from Santa, and one from Grandma and Grandpa. Four presents. In this day and age that would seem skimpy, but back then it seemed like more than enough. We place so much emphasis now on the number of gifts given, instead of the number of gifts given in love. There’s a big difference. I despise the TV commercial they have on nowadays with a woman called the “Gifter” whose only goal is to out give everyone else. That tells you where our society has gone.
This was the year I got a telescope, and Mike and I both got a “friction” stagecoach which shot sparks out the back when you revved it up. I also got a plastic “pinball machine” where you shot the balls up into the machine and see whether you get them to land in the highest number “slots”. I think I played that thing pretty much all day long that day. Grandma and Grandpa gave us some clothes of some kind, and I got a couple of new comic books. It was good…no, it was great.
Later on that day, the Uncles and Aunts, and numerous cousins came for dinner. Grandma’s little house was crowded to the gills. A lot of us ate dinner sitting out in the living room or even on the front porch. My cousins and I would find something to play or do after dinner. The food was nothing grand. I don’t remember if we had Turkey or roast beef. It really didn’t matter because Grandma could make anything taste good. I think later on that winter, we got iced and snowed in for over a week or so out there at the end of that old road. Grandpa had to shoot Robins for us to eat. They were delicious. When you’re hungry, I guess anything tastes good!
The air seemed to be filled with good will, good feelings and love that year. Later on, early in the spring we moved back home to Trion. Mom had gotten better, and our lives went back to normal…as normal as it could be in our family anyway. We continued to go to Grandma and Grandpa’s house pretty much every Christmas after that. Even after my wife and I married in 1969, we continued to make an annual Christmas trek to “the mountains” Certainly, even now when Christmas rolls around, I think of those days. The camaraderie, the food, the love that we all had for one another. Those were great Christmases, as are the ones we have now with all of our children and grandchildren. The common factor is family…and love, and remembering what Christmas is all about, not the presents, not the food or the games. It’s all about the birth of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Merry Christmas everyone.

I’ve walked over 5000 miles, probably closer to 6000, according to this “Fitbit “ I wear since I started this daily ritual over three and a half years ago. I don’t know if it’ll extend my years any though.

I can’t remember back far enough in my childhood to remember when my Grandpa Jervis was any active man of any sorts. I remember having to live with my Grandparents for half a year when I was 10 years old, and Grandpa mostly just sat around in his chair and listened to his radio, and sang songs out of his songbooks, and smoked his pipe. Occasionally during that long snowy winter, he would drag himself, bad knees and all, out of his chair and go down to the woodshed and haul a wheelbarrow of wood or two up in front of the porch and toss it piece by piece over the porch rail onto the porch right next to the door. Bad knees, but nothing wrong with those strong arms.

That was 1960, and Grandpa was born in 1893, so…that woulda made him…67. Just like I am today.

I don’t smoke a pipe, and the radio is long gone. I love music, but don’t have any song books except Grandpa’s old ones that I salvaged. I don’t sit around all day anymore though. I hope I never have to.

Seven years ago on this day, I didn’t know it fully quite yet, but I was entering into the hardest two weeks, and then the hardest year of my life. Four bypasses are a tough haul. It’s certainly something my Grandpa never had to go through, and he lived to be 98, albeit the last several years, he was not “himself”. I don’t expect my body will carry me that far, but I’m certainly going to keep on walking, and hope I can get there.

I’ve still got a lot I want to do, grandchildren to watch grow, and junk I’ve collected that will take at least 20 years to get rid of. I have love I want to give, and stars in the sky which I haven’t yet seen.

I want to better understand this Universe in which we live, so that perhaps when I leave this little speck on which I live, I can enter into whatever comes afterwards in joy and not sadness.

I would like to do as we used to do when I was young and unknowing. Go off into the woods and saw down an old cedar tree and bring it into the house and decorate it.

Most of the time we’d go to Mr. Kellet’s farm, where we bought milk, and he’d let us cut one. Back when I was very young, eight or nine. The smell of those trees haunts my memory now, just as the happiness and innocence also haunts me. I knew nothing then of the world beyond my doorstep. I didn’t realize the terrible things going on out of my little inner circle.

But, they were out there. Not as obtrusive and as evident as they are to me now in this 73 rd year. But there nonetheless.

I watched my three little ones in their innocence and happiness this morning, and I wondered how life will play out for them. I’ll only be here for a portion of that, but I’m concerned. I know the things I have seen since my time as a child in the fifties as compared to today. Such a vast change. Such a different world. A sandpaper world now compared to my smooth white paper one.

Of all the unknown quantities which lay ahead for them, I cannot even guess. All I can do is love them, hold them, and let them know they are cherished now. So loved. Perhaps if they are able to retain some of those memories in the future, it will give them strength.

Just as I went down in the woods today to a spot where a little cedar tree was growing and put my face close to it and breathed in deeply…and momentarily was comforted. All would be right, all would be alright. Just for a moment.

The silent heroes are the people out there who continue to persevere in a normal way during abnormal times.

I give my children and their spouses credit for day in and day out continuing to do their jobs, make their livings and raise their kids. There are also so many others of you out there who are also doing the same thing.

You are doing it under the pressure of a constant barrage from media outlets, 24 hour television and radio sources, and from social media members whose only reason for getting online every day is to publish and hash and then rehash political issues, and to do so from an “our team versus your team” mentality, in order to elicit comments of the most vulgar and divisive, hateful, racist, homophobic, and mysogonistic kind. They feel their duty is not done if they cannot get some good old fashioned dirty name calling going. They are the meme creators who search for those one liners to “zing and sting the other side”.

I have admiration for some of my friends who have involved themselves in political races in a positive, above board manner. J.L. Biddle and LaNelle Kenney Holland come to mind here. They put hours of real honest footwork into helping in political campaigns, and did not become caricatures of themselves through social media dallying. There were others also from many campaigns who comported themselves honorably, where many did not. Believe it or not, their are honorable people on both sides of the chess board. There are people who care about people.

I read a quote this week about how Finland decided after WWII to make their humans….their humans, the most important asset their country possesses. They are rated the top country in the world. Not their corporations…they didn’t imbue their corporations with the rights of a person like the US has done. Not their financial institutions…they don’t worship Wall Street. Not their military. Not their government. Their humans….are their most important asset.

We must all continue to remember that even in the midst of storms we must protect those we love from harm. We must preserve the sense of normalcy. We can strive for change with all our might, but we cannot lose sight of the fact that things must keep on running. That is not to say we cannot do all we can to change the things that need to be changed while we are living our lives. “Life is what happens while are making other plans”. Let’s continue to make plans. Let’s communicate with each other, even if our views differ. Can we not do this without hating each other? People used to be able to.

I do not write this as an admonition, but as a hopeful request. I write it as a prayer for change, because although I am no longer a “religious” man, I am a believer in the philosophy that the good in people will win out over the evil. If you believe in the teachings of Jesus, then follow them. If you believe in the philosophy of other religions, then follow them. There is a basic good in all of them. If you are not religious, then help others who are to achieve a balance of life that benefits all of humanity. If we are to survive, we must achieve that balance.

I believe it is good to keep the current events in our world in the peripheral balance of our daily vision of living. I also believe our main focus must on those things that need to be done to keep the wheels turning.

In the Fellowship of the Rings there was something which was said that I think is pertinent: When Frodo tells Gandalph he wishes the bad things befalling him had not happened “in his time” Gandalph tells him, “so do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide….all they must decide is what to do with the time which is given to them”. And so must we.

The Dalai Llama says: it is under the times of greatest adversity that there exists the greatest potential for doing good, both for oneself and for others.

Remember to give the “cup of cold water” to those who thirst in the midst of your daily travels and your work, and you will not lose your reward.

I could go on and on, as you realize…but now is the time to dream, perhaps of a world in balance, and in peace.