Author: thegraymaniac

Missing Pieces- a poem by Larry Bowers

Conservative Conservationist. No such thing?

Compassionate CEO. Luigi sings.

Underpaid Professional Athlete? Ha, ha ha!

Overpaid Teacher. La, La La.

Honest Politicians? They all died.

Current Space Missions, Russian Rides?

Starving humans, Gaza cries.

Secret Programs, Supernatural Pograms.

Global Warming, Yellowstone Warning.

Nutritious Fast Food, Mother Earth News.

Worship of Money, Bees and no Honey.

Drones with a Mission, Exploding weapons.

Religious pox, The Pope’s white Sox.

Patriarchal homicides, Handmaiden tale cries.

9 billion people sleeping, Mars rover slowly creeping.

All is said. Little is done. Solar Power from the sun.

Billionaires rule today, Billionaires rue the day.

The puzzle is on the table, but pieces are missing.

How can a person be two things at one time? Can a person be a dunce and a genius simultaneously?

How is it that a person who was considered so infallible that he was allowed to come in with unfettered power, gather all of our information, cut jobs Willy nilly through every department of government….including cutting an agency that has resulted in the deaths of thousands in Africa….was such a genius and doing such great and glorious things but is now on the outs?

Is it because he and some other people don’t agree on how to spend our money. Or more accurately, how much more debt to put our country into and how quickly to do it. Two trillion of debt over 10 years in order to cut taxes primarily for the rich and super rich…is my understanding. Cutting Medicaid via mandatory work /volunteer guidelines. Even MTG said she wouldn’t have voted for the BBB, if she’d read it closer and saw that it took away States rights to control AI for 10 years! I have to admit, this is the first time I agree with her, and wish she’d have read the entire bill before she voted yes, cause it wouldn’t have passed if she’d voted no.

Anyway Emusk called the BBB an abomination….which is a word they sometimes use for certain people, so he does not like it. He says we will never be doing anything in the future but paying interest.

That’s not good either for my little ones.

I’m no genius, I’m probably a dunce….but I just can’t make sense of it all.

I can’t understand either how come Harvard is catching so much flak? Columbia U. too.

Can’t understand why PBS and NPR are being defunded, or how come the National Weather Service has been degraded right before Hurricane Season (that the head of FEMA never heard of)

As a matter of fact, there’s plenty of other stuff to talk about that I ain’t got time to go into now.

Old Emusk paid out 270 million or so to help our current Admin (yesterday’s Wordle word btw) get elected. Probably made the difference. I guess he thinks he shoulda got more for his money. I think he should have just kept it and put it in Treasury bonds. That would have helped us more than giving it away to Superpacs. I swear that “Citizens United” thing old Scalia hung on us was a bad, bad decision.

Oh well, I’ve rambled on way too much on politics this morning. Bye bye for the day.

Warning: political post. Scroll by if you don’t want to read it.

I saw where the president fired the head of the Bureau of Labor statistics because he didn’t agree with her numbers. He agree with them while they were in his favor though. He basically tries to slant and obfuscate everything that doesn’t paint him in a positive light. As Mary Chaplin Carpenter once said in her song “I Feel Lucky”: “The stars might lie, but the numbers never do”

I’d point out a rebuttal for his need to obfuscate. This morning three businesses in Tennessee closed, putting almost 1000 people out of jobs: Perdue Farms in Monterey, Monaghan Foods in Dickson and Prarie Farms in Gallatin. These come on the heels of several other plants closing in Tennessee earlier this year in the automotive industry. All this while Tennessee governor Bill Lee is spending millions unnecessarily calling out the Tennessee national guard to help ICE. He wouldn’t take federal money earlier this year to help feed hungry kids this summer though.

I personally thought that the immigration enforcement program was going to rid the country of convicted criminals, and I saw no problem with that, but arresting and deporting people who are working jobs and paying taxes? I saw a post from a contractor in Alabama who can’t build because he depended on immigrant workers to fill his work force.

I have to mention also, the ridiculous situation in Texas, where their governor Abbott is trying to gerrymander the state map to give Trump his request for more seats in Congress. He’s threatening to send the FBI out to arrest democratic legislators who have left the state. All this will do is force democratic states to reciprocate…..and there we will go, in a cycle of tit versus tat, none of which will benefit the American people.

I could go on, but I’ll save it for later.

8/18/24 9:27pm

As long as life seems to continue in a somewhat “normal” manner, then people will continue to believe things are normal.

Everyday, people still go to work, kids go to school and parishioners still attend churches. Banks are still open, the post office delivers mail, and our electricity and natural gas are still on. Gasoline is still coming out of pumps, the grocery stores still have food. The hospitals are still taking patients, and the drug stores are still filling prescriptions.
Police are still patrolling the streets, firemen responding to fires. Everything is still somewhat normal.

But…little signs are starting to creep in, that our current normal will soon be a thing of the past.

People’s attitudes are different. There’s more selfishness than selflessness. Education is on the wane. Almost every state is providing less funding for schools now than before 2008. Wage growth is stagnant. Even though unemployment is below 4%, wages are lower than before 2008. Why? Companies simply don’t….want…to give raises. There’s no longer a middle class, there’s workers and there’s owners.
Jobs are there, but you may have to work two.

Religion is on the decline. The percentage of money given by religious organizations to the needy is down about 50% since 1990.

Most telling is the almost eery 50/50 division of cultural and political attitudes. Most distressing is the “our side vs your side” mentality, with little to no room for discussion or compromise. The notion that people with different beliefs cannot even have a civil discussion is unbelievable. Yet, when I read comments on some posts, many days I see statements that go beyond anything I have seen in anger, threats of violence, dirty and profane language….vulgarity beyond belief. Things that you surely think would be taboo. Yet they are not.

So, things are not normal….even though they may seem that they are. I have no answers for how to steer the ship back towards a more even keel. I wish I did.

I have come close over the past decade or so to hating people. I will tell you up front, right here…that I do not hate anyone. It’s been very tasking to keep it out of my mind and my heart. It’s difficult. I very much dislike the actions, words, and philosophies of some people though. Especially, as I know you’re aware , towards political figures. Not just those you’d think either.

I’ve never, ever expressed any hatred towards any family member or friend. I never will. I love my family with all my heart. I love the friends I grew up with too, although some look in the other direction when I walk by, or turn and walk in the opposite direction. Some won’t speak. That’s ok, that’s their decision. If there is anyone who feels like I am holding something against them, all you have to do is pick up your phone and call me. In this day and age, we don’t do that enough anymore. We really should. A text is ok, but the sound of a voice is better.

I’ve said all of that to get to here. I was thinking yesterday about hate and a sentence in Senator Alan Simpson’s eulogy at the memorial service for George H.W. Bush came to my mind. He said: “George never hated anyone, because he knew that hatred corrupts the vessel in which it is carried”

I think we have leaders in our world who are filled with hatred…with rage probably too. Some would call it evil, but that’s a human judgement. That hatred they hold has corrupted their “vessel” to the point where it cannot hold any good. Any good that goes into that vessel becomes corrupted and mixed with the hatred. It is no longer good. Its spit back out with contempt.

Now, I know that some religions speak to forgiveness for sin if it is sincerely requested, but I don’t believe a person who has constantly harbored hate would ever even ask for any forgiveness…not sincerely anyway. I also don’t think some things can ever be forgiven, such as the taking of innocent life.
So, no good can come from the things these people do. Hate has corrupted them to the point of no return.

I wish every day that I knew which direction to go. I think of MLK sayings “I have decided to stick to love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” I believe love will win out in the end, and I use it when I can, but in the meantime I intend to continue to speak out against things I think are wrong. Harming innocent people, unrighteousness, lies, things which hurt elderly people, things which harm our planet, things which are wrong!

If I say or do things with which you don’t agree, then just know I do not do it in hatred. I don’t won’t to corrupt my vessel anymore.

I cannot reconcile some of the posts I read with the commandment that Jesus gave: “A new command I give you. Love one another. As I have loved you, you must love one another”. You must…he…said…

He didn’t say love the sinner, but hate the sin. What nonsense!

He didn’t say justify your lack of love due to mitigating factors of your own invention.

He didn’t say to cherry pick this verse, nor that verse, and use it out of context to make some convoluted point that proves absolutely nothing.

I’ll tell you this. I have not melted myself down to the dregs in a hot cauldron these past five years…tortured and searching, and repoured myself into a new mold, to see and hear people say up is down, and wrong is right.

It’s not. You can’t make it so just by thinking it.

IT’S ALL in your MIND…..(or…What’s on your mind, as this blank space always asks when I come to it.)

What is the first thing that you can remember? That’s my question for now. What’s your first memory? Our mind is a funny thing and they say we only use about 10% of what we have. But just humor me and try and frame a mental picture of your first memory. If you can do it that will eventually lead me to my other question.

See, the reason it interests me is that I often wonder if everyone else’s brain functions about the same as mine. Most of my childhood memories are rather fuzzy around the edges. Do you know what I mean? It’s sort of like trying to look at something right after you have just woke up, and you still have a ton of “sleep” in your eyes. Either that, or maybe it’s like trying to remember a dream which you had the night before. The dream is really clear when you first wake up, but if you EVER want to remember it, you should take the advice of dream specialists and write it down right then. If not, it’s going to be fuzzy in the morning. Fuzzy around the edges, just like those really early childhood memories. Sometimes I wonder if some of my “memories’ are not really dreams. Is that possible? I think it might be. As we go through life, and we live through so many different things, it may just be that some of our more vivid dreams get mixed up in our brain with reality. That would be a hoot wouldn’t it? I really think this is a good exercise though, because the more I have consciously thought about the past, the more memories starting bubbling to the surface like bubbles on a pound full of snapping turtles. The more I try and separate reality from fantasy, the more sure I am that it’s not always possible to do so.

Well for starters, the very first thing I remember is having to go potty really, really bad. We lived in a house back in 1953, when I was three years old that was originally a duplex that had been turned into a regular house. I remember that it confused me, because both sides of the house seemed to be the same, except the living room furniture was in one side and the bedroom furniture in the other. I remember thinking that the rooms were the same and that when I blinked my eyes, or went to sleep (especially if I got carried from one side to the other during that time) that the furniture was rearranging itself! Strange, right? But, back to pottying. I had to go really, really bad, and nobody was around to “direct” me to the correct place, so down went the pants and…..well..you can guess the rest. The part I remember the most, was getting my rear end tanned by my Pop! I never, ever did that again!

I also remember having a pair of Easter bunnies that same year. Dad brought them home in a box, and we took them out back to eat grass and they got away from us and ran up under the car. It took Daddy forever to catch them, and I didn’t know what some of the words he was using meant, but I used one of them later on when I rode my tricycle down the front steps. My Dad was secretly tickled I said it to the Dr. who was sewing up my head, but he still blamed it on my Mom. I can’t remember what happened to those damn rabbits though. I think Dad probably got tired of them making a mess and got rid of them one night while the furniture was changing itself around.

Another vivid thing during that same year I believe was during the summer we would catch “lightning bugs” (fireflies to a lot of you) We would put them in a jar and I would take them to a dark place and try to use them like a flashlight! Usually, we would let them go before going in for the night, but once we forgot and I came out the next morning, and couldn’t figure out why the bugs wouldn’t light up. I didn’t realize that after being in a closed jar with no hole all night long, they were NEVER going to light up again! My Dad told me that they were not sleeping, that they were dead forever. That was my first realization that things sometimes really cease to live.

I know that I lived the first two years of my life at my Grandparent’s house. My Dad didn’t get out of the Navy until 1952, so my Mom and I stayed with them. I have seen pictures of myself at that age, but try as I might, try so very hard, I cannot bring up any memories of any of those times before 1953 when we moved back to Trion, where I still live today. I wish I could remember those times. What would really be neat would be to be able to remember anything and everything that ever happened to you. To just be able to sit down and say, “Now I am going to remember December of 1956 when I was six years old, and what happened at Christmas that year!” That would be a miracle wouldst it? Scientists say that everything is stored right up there in that little 3 pounds of gray jelly we call our brain. That wonderful, misunderstood and not fully understood organ that runs us. I have tried everything from meditation, to “commanding” my brain to remember, to closing my eyes and straining and squinting but I still can’t make it happen! Are all of you folks like that, or is it just me!!! I would like to know, so I can claim a deficiency if I am the only one.

Memory and the brain. They really are a strange thing. I remember one time when my Grandfather was in his last year of life. He didn’t know anybody, or anything much. He was afflicted with some type of memory loss which was permanent and very severe…as a result of a stroke perhaps, or of hardening of the arteries. When we went to visit him, he would just sit around and kind of “babble” like a tape recorder randomly playing back snippets of conversation recorded over years and years of time. Nothing made much sense. He always seemed like he was glad to see us, and sad to see us go…but…things were just not perking right. My Grandma was sitting there one day and talking about one of their relatives, and Grandpa spoke up all of the sudden and said: “Cleve’s dead” (I think it was Cleve….it might have been Pierce…my memories not so good….) My Grandma answered him back telling him how crazy he was, because she had just talked to Uncle Cleve that morning. That afternoon when we took Grandma back home, she found out that Cleve had died right around the time we were all at the Nursing home. So, the brain’s funny isn’t it. I would have bet you a million dollars that Grandpa couldn’t count to ten anymore, but somehow, someway he knew his old hunting buddy had died.

Maybe not being able to recall everything that has ever happened to us is a blessing. We might NOT be able to be selective and just remember the good things. We might also HAVE to remember the bad things too. There are a LOT of those things that I would rather keep shoved back into the tiny recesses and crevasses of my mind. Yes, my mind. When all is said and done, our mind IS what we are isn’t it? Even when Grandpa’s was taken mostly away, he was given a gift of sorts to replace what had been taken from him. I guess our spirit sort of resides there. I suppose the part of us which is our personality and which makes us us resides there. It’s about the only part of us they can’t replace with a transplant still! Shoot, you can have a ticker transplant and go right on being yourself, but a diving accident can turn you into something you would rather not think about! It makes you wonder about all those people who do have that kind of damage. Have their souls, what made them who they were, already fled the premises and just left the empty shell behind? I suppose there are many who doubt there is a soul…but I still believe in it. I still believe that “spark” of creation is still there.

Well, there’s the challenge for those of you who want to think about it. Can you remember everything? What was your first memory? Would you like to be able to have total recall? When our old brain is gone, like Grandpa’s was, are we still us? I think so….what do you think? Most of all I would like to know…how are your memories…are they as clear as a wonderfully taken photograph, or as gray around the edges as an out of focus picture?

Oh by the way. Does anybody remember a Science Fiction thriller from the 50’s named “Donavan’s Brain?” It was about this guy whose brain was taken out of him while he was still alive, and put into this thing that looked all the world like a ten gallon fish aquarium! They had all kind of wires hooked up to it, and had it connected to a computer looking thing. Ol’ Donovan’s Brain could still “communicate” and eventually took over some folks, if I remember right, making ‘em do things they wouldn’t ordinarily do. It was a hoot! I hope to heck they NEVER learn to do that. I personally hope they never learn to “store” our minds on computers either. Never able to “download” the electrical impulses from our brains onto some kind of infernal storage unit, to be put into a program so we can still communicate with the living. I don’t wanna’ be a machine.

I know for sure a lot of really rich people are planning on something happening. Walt Disney is on “ice” as is Ted Williams and quite a few other folks with the dollars who thing there’s a chance for a human resurrection one of these days.

When it’s time for me to go, I want to go. I wonder, what will my LAST thought will be? Whatever it is, I won’t be able to share it with any of you guys that are left behind, so I guess I better concentrate on sharing what I want to now, while I still can!! Love and Peace to you all.

I wrote this a few years back. I feel like it was the best thing I ever wrote.

Much of what I write is written to me.

When I write of love and being positive and hopeful, I am speaking to myself, because most days it is hard to be that type of person. So, I talk to myself about the things I need to do and how I need to interact with other human beings.

But, it is so hard. It’s becoming harder every day. It’s difficult to care. But the sun will come up tomorrow and the sun will set.

We have all seen them. Those beautiful Sunrises. If you’ve been a friend of mine on social media for any amount of time you’ve seen plenty of pictures of sunrises which I thought were beautiful.

Those mornings when the light turns dozens of colors behind a scant screen of clouds. Everything from muted purples to magenta, to bright blood red. How does a beautiful Sunrise make you feel?

For me the beginning of the day, which is signified by that marvelous sunrise, symbolizes a daily rebirth. A new beginning, a time when everything is new again and all options for doing things wonderful, useful, loving, and kind are open. It renews my soul. It tells me in no uncertain terms that I am alive, and that I have been treated to the sight of some of the most beautiful colors in nature. I so appreciate life and the chance to live it. To experience other people, people who I love and who love me. To touch another person, even to simply shake hands, or to brush back the hair of my daughter or sons, my grandchildren, or my wife from their foreheads is an experience that I will only get to enjoy once in that instance. Just once in that instance, and I will remember. Those moments….will never happen again, just like the moments in the pictures I take. Those photos are a frozen moment in time which will never happen again. There may be other instances, other chances…but there may not.

I can taste food for another day and hear music. I don’t really even care what kind most of the time…I generally like it all. I get the privilege of talking and interacting with other people, most of the time in a positive manner. All of this starts with the beautiful Sunrise that I saw when I walked around the ordinary neighborhood today.

Then there are the stupendous Sunsets. I look out my back door at them often, and take photos that don’t do justice towards how beautiful they really look.

How does a gentle sunset make you feel?

The colors are a similar palette as was the Sunrise, but the feelings are different. Day is leaving. I feel peaceful. I feel content. My tasks for the day are done and I am “heading towards the house” to rest, like a horse to the barn. I hear the word to “taps” playing gently in my head frequently:

“Day is done, gone the sun,
From the lake, from the hills, from the sky;
All is well, safely rest, God is nigh.”

Many times in the past I was headed towards my home from work, to my familiar place, my territory. I had accomplished all I could during the day and I was satisfied. Maybe I should have tried to do more, I feel that way practically every day. But in the awesome light of the Sunset I felt happy…. tired but happy. I knew I would be glad to get home, and see the ones that I love. My tasks that others would have me do were over. I would eventually lay down that night, and rest my weary body, happy to have seen another day on this Earth. Happy to dream whatever dreams that arose.

Life and Death are like the sunrise and sunset. Both are beautiful in their own way, similar, yet vastly different. It’s what happens in between, what we….make happen in between, that forms the legacy of our lives. It’s the appreciation mixed with sorrow, of getting to see the sunrises and sunsets of other peoples lives that hopefully will make us appreciate our own and be less afraid of the final sunset that we all must come to one day. Not melancholy, but happy to have shined and to have enjoyed being in the light. I know I am. I’m glad I have cared.

We all fear the unknown, and not knowing what’s on the other side of that last Sunset is scary. Even to those who are secure in their beliefs and solid in their convictions. I experience that fear, we all probably do when we think about it. But I believe the spark within us that makes us what we are goes on and on, and we are meant to all be together again. I’m not exactly sure how. I’ll never know exactly how until it’s too late to write it down on a page, or take a photo of it.

So, here I have again, added to those many soliloquies I have written to myself but shared with others.

I hope you don’t mind.