Month: May 2018

Where are your memories?

I know people say we should “live for today” or “the present is all that matters”. But I don’t think so.

On some days, like today, my memories are all that sustain me. The present doesn’t work the best for me, and living for today is like an October dust devil…swirling through and kicking up leaves. It’s here and gone before you can even identify it.

More than anything else in my life, my biggest fear is losing my memories, forgetting where I’ve been, and who I’ve touched and kissed and loved. Losing me.

One of my older friends at Trade day took a nasty fall today. He said it was just a weird blank feeling, and he fell and pulled over his table while I was standing there and spilled his things. As I was helping him pick them up he kept saying he just didn’t know what had happened. There was a look in his eyes. Seventy six, just lost his wife this year. An uncertain look.

Then this afternoon I found out my Eli took a nasty fall at school and busted his chin on the pavement. He looked so pitiful and frail this evening when I saw him, and that same uncertain look in his eyes. He will remember that spill all his life, just as I remember riding my tricycle down the steps of our house when I was four and busting open my forehead. He will for sure remember this.

My older trade day friend may not remember his fall too long. He will for sure not have the chance to store it in his vault of remembrance near as long as Eli will his. And so the difference that seventy some odd years make. A lifetime started, a lifetime lived, and the memories are what makes the life. They are us, and we are them.

Where are your memories? I can still find mine most of the time right now, and for that I am so very grateful.

Remember my friend, and little Eli. They both need healing thoughts.

I got to thinking about the old saying that “life is just mind over matter….if you don’t mind it don’t matter!” Now I now that’s supposed to be funny, but really it’s kind of true. If you don’t mind what people say about you, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind you don’t have as many possessions as others around you, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind that someone cuts you off in traffic, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind you’ve gained a little weight, it don’t matter. If you don’t mind there’s a little dust on the furniture, it don’t matter.

The things that DO matter are our peace of mind, and happiness, and our relationship to the people and the world around us.

It matters how we treat our family and our friends. It matters if we help someone who asks for it, but also it matters when we help someone who needs it and DOES NOT ask for it…cause some people who need help are too proud to ask and some are so far gone, they cannot ask.

It matters if we care about humanity….not just American humanity but ALL of humanity.

So today don’t mind about the loudmouth in the aisle ahead of you at Walmart talking on their cell phone about things best kept private, it don’t matter. Don’t mind about what the talking heads on TV are telling you, in the long run it won’t matter. Don’t mind if so and so don’t agree with your politics, or pulls an online rant on you, in a month or a year, or in 100 years it…won’t…matter. Period.

Do mind about telling someone you love them…that does matter. Do mind if you help somebody who is sick, or feed someone who is hungry, that does matter. Do mind about hugging your kids, and your old people. Do mind about dealing with those around you with kindness. Those are the tenets of living which will live on far beyond us all. That is the morality upon which an unbreakable civilization will one day be founded, and out of which a new paradigm of life will emerge.

If you’re a Christian, read the gospel and do what Jesus says. If you’re an atheist treat others with integrity, compassion, and understanding. If you are of any religion, stand for the good which all religions include…don’t make up you’re own rules. Don’t surround yourself with hatred. Don’t think that revenge will end with the last person who acts with revenge in mind. It won’t. An eye for and eye only ends up making everyone blind.

Perhaps I am naive to think these things. To think that we will be able to solve our own human problems by our own human selves. But I do

I really do.

Take everything you know or think you know, and do a “role reversal” in your mind.

Now, think about it for a while…….is it possible that we (as human beings) are wrong about some things? Is it possible we are wrong about some people, or groups of people?

Is it possible…could it possibly be possible, that we are just not thinking?

One thing that I make sure and do on a daily basis is to say out loud: “I will not let hate and fear rule me!” I know that if anyone actually saw me, they might think that’s pretty weird. But, my opinion is that “vocalizing” our thoughts makes them more of a reality then just thinking them in our heads. I also really believe that part of our problem in this society is that we do not vocalize our thoughts and opinions enough to other, actual in the flesh people. We have a habit of expressing our thoughts and opinions here in cyberspace, and it’s just…not…the…same, as having a conversation in person.

For most people, excepted for the dedicated and practiced “entertainers” in our world who are adept at acting out and inciting others…for most people though, besides those entertainers…it’s harder to express hatred and fear to somebody’s face, than it is to write it out on this digital page.

Most of us are not of the mindset yet, to act out hatred and loathing by performing actual deeds of violence in person against other people…although, the instances of those who are doing so is becoming a more common occurrence. People who are on the fence….on the cusp of doing violent acts against other people, are often pushed beyond the edge of inaction to the tragedy of real action, by things they read, hear or come in contact with via the virtual world.

I hope that it doesn’t get worse. I fervently wish that we can all start to again become more communicative with each other in person, face to face. I want for there to be a world for my children and grandchildren to inhabit, in which they have a chance to live and enjoy themselves the way I have….the way we have.

If we think, like I said at the first of this post….if we think about just not ourselves, but of those who come after us in this world, maybe we can solve some of the severe problems which we are now encountering. Listen to your heart, your own heart…not the rhetoric of anyone who wants to sway you away from what you know in your heart is right.

We are all simply layer after layer upon layer of emotional content, which is spilled out upon the canvas of life…day after day after day.

Some layers go down smoothly, with nary a wrinkle..and you may have quite a few good ones in a row, before a messed up, old crumpled layer comes around and rumples up your pile!

Then it takes a lot of smoothing over before that layer is buried way down deep. A wind may come along every now and then an turn up your edges, and you recall that bad day.

Some of our journeys go better than others. Depends upon a lot of things. Some have a lot more wrinkled up layers than others.

I really don’t know why things are the way they are, all I know is that it’s quite a ride….it’s quite a process this “living life”.

I look forward to another layer of life tomorrow. Perhaps I’ll see some of you, and we can work on this big old jig saw puzzle together. I hope so.